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My Dad (82y/o) is "Too Stubborn", Won't Leave Decrepit Empty Nest!!
Jan 1st 2013 | Floyd A. Logan

Posted on 01/01/2013 9:11:57 PM PST by San Rafael Blue

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To: X-spurt

probably cause he doesn’t live down the street..and most likely too $$$$$$$
You don’t know?


41 posted on 01/02/2013 2:42:52 AM PST by CGASMIA68
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To: San Rafael Blue
The memory is perhaps second only to the heart in constant, powerful activity.

One day, some many years ago, a guy was forced by his memory to command a vast army of warriors into a seemingly endless and unwinnable war.

Those warriors also motivated and controlled by their memories.

FreeRepublic was born.

WE will be the survivors of Fahrenheit 451, quoting and presenting to the historically castrated, the memory of America.


Old men don't wantr to leave their home no matter WHAT it's condition.

Home is where the heart is.

We will not lay on the operating table willingly for open heart surgery just because someone whom claims to be a heart specialist (but has no credentials to show to validate that claim) says it is necessary.



42 posted on 01/02/2013 3:05:48 AM PST by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
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To: San Rafael Blue

My dad is 93 and refuses to move out of his house and into some senior citizens home. My older brother sees him every day and makes sure my dad’s house is cleaned and he is fed, but at some point my brother says he’ll have to move my father into a home. The old guy is pretty stubborn.


43 posted on 01/02/2013 3:11:24 AM PST by driftless2
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To: San Rafael Blue

Exactly where in the Detroit area does he live?


44 posted on 01/02/2013 3:17:55 AM PST by Hot Tabasco (Jab her with a harpoon.....)
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To: San Rafael Blue

I actually fear my mom will want to sell her house. It’s immaculate, but there’s real estate involved and it’s probably more than she will be able to handle.


45 posted on 01/02/2013 3:21:13 AM PST by MachIV
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To: San Rafael Blue

My Dad wouldn’t leave his home, and wouldn’t let Mom leave, even though she had Alzheimer’s. I provided in-home care with an exorbitant cost and spent my retirement savings and borrowed money.

Near the end, he was falling almost every other day and the caregivers could not pick him up. After one of those falls he went into rehab and I left him in the nursing home. Mom fell for a third time and broke her other hip. (She already broke one hip and cracked a pelvis on two other falls.) So, she went into the same nursing home. They were put in a room together and stayed there for one year and nine months. They both died with 20 days of each other.

I honored my Dad’s wishes until it was physically impossible. He did not see me as putting him in the nursing home either. He wanted to get out of the nursing home and never reallly liked it there. Because Mom was there, however, he tolerated it. All this occurred with me living 400 miles from my parents.


46 posted on 01/02/2013 3:32:44 AM PST by WashingtonSource
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To: USARightSide

Hey I wear a pair of them myself :>} I’ve got an extra pair I told her she could get set up and use. She can afford new ones too. My real concern is someone walking in on her. GOD help them if she hears them first. She has my shotgun LOL. I call before I get there :>}


47 posted on 01/02/2013 3:43:00 AM PST by cva66snipe (Two Choices left for U.S. One Nation Under GOD or One Nation Under Judgment? Which one say ye?)
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To: freekitty

Thanks


48 posted on 01/02/2013 3:50:04 AM PST by cva66snipe (Two Choices left for U.S. One Nation Under GOD or One Nation Under Judgment? Which one say ye?)
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To: freekitty
Seriously!

My grandparent's home was on the outerbanks of NC and we held it together with shear determination, roof-over jobs and a local fix-it man that could magically cajole the heat pump to kick on each winter. Every storm that hit the east coast scared the heck out of us! We did crazy things like cutting an inch off the bottom of all the beautiful bedroom doors when they began getting jammed shut because the supports under the house moved! We prayed every night that the house would just last as long as my grandparents needed it. It did.

49 posted on 01/02/2013 3:53:03 AM PST by Casie (Chuck Norris 2016)
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To: cva66snipe
There is one thing worthy of mentioning. Many of us know about nursing homes. Up until about 10-15 years ago that was the only choice if family could not care for someone. Thankfully that has changed.

For persons needing some basic help like getting in and out of a wheelchair and need things like meals prepared etc can go into assisted living. The resident has their own apartment or if married some places have larger ones for them. There is more security and the resident are free to come and go as they please. Like anything you get what you pay for. Be leary of ones asking for huge up front membership fees. Many nice places will simply charge by the month.

They have even adapted this concept for Memory Care residents meaning Dementia and Alzheimer's residents and it's done quite well. The difference is the Memory unit is usually secured keypad entry and exit meaning they have to be escorted in and out of the unit with family or worker. My sister resides in a Memory Care unit and really it's nice. These facilities also have a 24 hour on site nurse.

50 posted on 01/02/2013 4:03:30 AM PST by cva66snipe (Two Choices left for U.S. One Nation Under GOD or One Nation Under Judgment? Which one say ye?)
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To: San Rafael Blue

For several years after my husband’s passing I did not want to leave our home either. Then one day I realized that I was too isolated and lonely and that memories did not live inside walls, but were quite portable. I sold the house, had another, more maintainable for me home built and am building a fuller life.
Life really does go on but it is up to us to make it fulfilling by not living in the bygone days, in homes too difficult to keep up or so isolated that we are quite alone the majority of the time.
I hope your father will come to as satisfactory conclusion for himself.


51 posted on 01/02/2013 5:00:02 AM PST by ruesrose (The Anchor Holds)
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To: San Rafael Blue

There are 4 of you?

Get together and make sure the repairs are done for your dad.


52 posted on 01/02/2013 5:01:18 AM PST by mom4melody
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To: San Rafael Blue

There are 4 of you?

Get together and make sure the repairs are done for your dad.


53 posted on 01/02/2013 5:02:45 AM PST by mom4melody
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To: San Rafael Blue

So get together with your siblings and hire some contractors. Find out if your Dad can help with the finances. Where is your Dad supposed to go to a government-financed old folks home?


54 posted on 01/02/2013 5:07:39 AM PST by FR_addict
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To: San Rafael Blue

So get together with your siblings and hire some contractors. Find out if your Dad can help with the finances. Where is your Dad supposed to go — to a government-financed old folks home?


55 posted on 01/02/2013 5:08:04 AM PST by FR_addict
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To: ottbmare

Hey, be upset if San Rafael had actually followed thru. He said he was talked out of it, so he has some moral sense after all. I’m “horrified” that you seem to be one of those “thought crimes” people, willing to condemn a person who expresses an honest thought even though there was no real intent on follow thru even if that thought has love and concern attached to it even if the thought was misguided.

Leftists and progressives condemn people for their thoughts, real conservatives look at folks’ actions before making a judgment!


56 posted on 01/02/2013 5:17:07 AM PST by mdmathis6 ("Barry" Xmas to all and have a rapaciously taxable New Year!)
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To: USARightSide

Not quite vanity, my FRiend.

Hearing Aids can cost $8000.00 or more.

I have a slight hearing loss that comes from years as a self-employed musician, ergo NO health insurance of any kind.

After testing my hearing, and telling me the price, The “doctor” told me that since i did not have health insurance nor the means to pay for it, they couldn’t help me. They practically threw me out of the office when they did not see any $$$$.

So I just have to ask me students to speak clearly and distinctly. It is good for them too, as kids mostly mumble these days anyway.

And, BTW, I’m STILL “Jammin”.


57 posted on 01/02/2013 6:17:04 AM PST by left that other site (Worry is the Darkroom that Develops Negatives.)
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To: mdmathis6

His action is that he and his three siblings complain about the conditions in their father’s house while they’re letting it deteriorate around him. Thoughts are not anybody’s business, you’re right, even when the original poster says that it “hurts” to see his father happy and at peace, even when he says he was intending to go through with his plans until he was talked out of it. And now you’re condemning me and my thoughts, so...


58 posted on 01/02/2013 6:28:48 AM PST by ottbmare (The OTTB Mare)
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To: San Rafael Blue

The writer and any siblings should combine to make necessary repairs to maintain the home’s value. No need for dad to move out, even if it makes more sense to them for him to do so.


59 posted on 01/02/2013 7:05:27 AM PST by JimRed (Excise the cancer before it kills us; feed &water the Tree of Liberty! TERM LIMITS, NOW & FOREVER!)
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To: San Rafael Blue

Same thing happened with my grandmother. Widowed, staying in her house, increasingly not capable of really keeping it up, all of her kids begging her to move out. For years. Finally they succeeded in doing so, and within three months she was dead. Let him stay there as long as he wants, focus your energies in helping with repairs, cleaning, etc.


60 posted on 01/02/2013 8:42:25 AM PST by Behind the Blue Wall
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