Skip to comments.I just realized something: My cat is a Democrat
Posted on 09/25/2012 2:43:49 PM PDT by West Texas Chuck
I think this has been posted before but I couldn't find it. Worth a chuckle.
My cat is a Democrat!!!!
Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week. Tip your waitstaff and beertenders.
Your cat stands prepared to defend you from any attack...foreign or domestic. He’s your “Marine”. He wants to ensure no mice ruin your home. He lives in a cramped quarters situation because you force him to. He doesn’t whine much about it...because it’s the best you can offer. He’s not living like a king....but instead as a warrior. I think he’s more Republican than you think...(especially if he’s a Maine Coon).
I’m afraid ours is a democat too - huge entitlement mentality but we love her anyway.
OMG! You’re right. One of my girlz just jumped up on my desk, put a rear paw on my mouse hand, pressed down really hard, as if to make it clear; “I’m the boss. I won! Give me stuff!”
Given that they are the masters and we are their servants, perhaps the way things are is better than being beholden to a Conservacat.
Judging from where my dog chooses to lift his leg, he’s a republican.
He found the only fence for blocks owned by an Obama voter and made it his own.
Dogs have masters...
Cats have staff!
If GOD has the same design for cats to be just like dogs, then HE’ll make that happen (or would have let that happen already).
There! Someone has to say it.
Dudeman, you are awesome!
Dogs have masters; cats have staff.
How To Give A Cat A Pill:
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill you just swallowed is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Get a screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Clean and bandage slashed, bloody arms and face. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw bloody, shredded T-shirt away and get a new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire dept to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small adjustable wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm, and removes pill remnants from right eye. Also, be quite still for your tetanus shot before beginning your 10-day regimen of antibiotics. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for vet to make a house call.
But having staff doesn't make them Democrats, does it? (LOL!)
Oh carp, I haven’t heard that in a while, thank you!
Very good, Chuch.
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