Fake testicles and facials, new ways of pet pampering (no, this is not from the Onion)

AFP/Yahoo ^ | 5/20/12 | Sebastian Smith

[markomalley]

People and their pets often end up resembling each other, but image-obsessed Americans are taking that age-old relationship a step further, treating their four-legged friends to everything from spa facials to testicle implants.

In a nation of surgically enhanced human breasts, teeth and skin, perhaps it was just a matter of time before the beauty stakes were raised for pooches and cats.

One end of the spectrum features dogs like Hops, a Maltese terrier who recently was given a blueberry facial, followed by a blow dry, and tooth brushing with chicken-flavored paste, at Manhattan's Downtown Doghouse spa.

Groomer Ani Corless described this as the new normal for lapdogs.

"These are man-made breeds and they require maintenance," she said.

Mid-facial, Hops ejected a tiny puddle of vomit, but otherwise did seem to enjoy the attention.

More extreme -- and painful -- makeovers are also gaining ground.

New York Republican lawmaker Nicole Malliotakis says animals are subjected to tattoos, earrings, nose rings, chin rings, tummy tucks, even facelifts.

[markomalley]

Another one for the "I thought I'd seen it all" file.

[knarf]

Helen might still have her front row seat if only she had known.

Naaahhhh

[Zakeet]

Where I grew up, that's called putting garnish on your food.

[Johnny_cash]

We need to put in an order for the GOP, and lets make sure it gets super sized .

[Popman]

Just another sign that America is slowly becoming a sick demented retarded version of it’s once great people....

A weird place where we murder children by the thousand per day yet treat our dogs as extensions of ourselves....

[yank in the UK]

“People and their pets often end up resembling each other”

I'm thinking about getting my wife a pet college cheerleader.

[Tax-chick]

My petz all say “Meh” to this nonsense.

[goseminoles]

Nudicles for canines!! Cool rock band name..

[Tax-chick]

LOL!

We have a neutered male cat who thinks he’s still got ‘em.

[Morgana]

a very weird ping

[Slings and Arrows]

Are Neuticles available for RINOs?

[Slings and Arrows]

Woof.

[null and void]

That makes a lot of sense...

[Joe 6-pack]

WOOOF!

The Doggie Ping list is for FReepers who would like to be notified of threads relating to all things canid. If you would like to join the Doggie Ping Pack (or be unleashed from it), FReemail me.

[Monkey Face]

Your pets are somewhat sane and sensible.

[AnAmericanMother]

Actually, while the "Neuticles" are purportedly marketed as a replacement for a dog's lost "manhood", they have a real and more sinister reason for existing.

A male dog will be "sent down" i.e. disqualified from the conformation ring if he is a monorchid (having one undescended testicle). Nobody bothers with the cryptorchids (both undescended) because they can't breed - the temperature in the body is too high for sperm production. But an otherwise champion-quality dog with one undescended testicle is a standing temptation to an unscrupulous breeder.

This was demonstrated a couple years ago in a major show when the judge did the usual testicle check and got a funny look on her face -- the dog had THREE testicles. The real one had chosen that moment to descend. IIRC, the dog and the owner were barred from the ring for life.

[Tax-chick]

Yah, unlike my sons.

[Monkey Face]

I tried very hard to not go there....;o]