DAD, WHAT's UNABHANGIKEITSTAG?

Vanity ^ | July 4, 2006 | Nathan Bedford

[nathanbedford]

DAD, WHAT's UNABHANGIKEITSTAG?

"Is that when the thirteen colonies broke away from England?" My ten year inquired out of nowhere at 6 AM German time this morning. "Yeah, why do you want to know, eat your breakfast," I mumbled, too sleepy to be very curious. "Because I am afraid my teacher will ask me, since I am wearing this T-shirt and I'm the only American in the class." With an effort, I adjusted my gaze upward to his white T-shirt. It was brand new. Prominent on his breast was an image of the flag and below that:

OLD NAVY

FREEDOM 2005 TRADITION

Waking up now, I reflected that if the Old Navy company could so shamelessly trade on the image of the flag, it ought in decency at least amend the line below to:

FREEDOM 2005 COMMERCE

But then I thought, what could be more traditional in America than commercializing the flag?

"Waddayamean, you're the only American in class, what's that got to do with the Fourth of July?" My paternal antannae were also coming to life. I remembered that the kids had sometimes returned from Gymnasium, German high school, and recited seemingly off-hand remarks from professors disparaging America and especially George Bush. Some of the hearsay reports had been pretty rough, describing America as killing Iraqis or causing global warming and the like.

"I think he will call on me to explain the Declaration of Indepencence to the whole class," masking his apprehension. "So, what will you tell them?"

"That is how we got free of England," he replied, in German. "That's right, as far as it goes. Never mind breakfast, lets get to the computer, it time to search FreeRepublic." A few minutes later we had a copy of the declaration printed out, with the font changed to italics for psuedo verisimiltude to the venerable document.

"There is actually a couple of ideas in here that are more important than announcing our break with England," I said, highlighting with a yellow marker this passage:

that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights

And this passage too:

Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed

"This means that who you are, what rights you have, come directly from God and not from the government. In fact, the government is there to serve you, as a child of God, not the other way around, and when the government takes away your rights, the government is not legitimate, and you can change it."

"What's legitimate?" Ah, " berechtigt," I answered. I must have gotten it right for he seemed satisfied with the translation and his Deutsch is better than mine. Handing him the printout, I said, "take this with you, read it on the bus, and when you get to class you tell them these ideas are America's gift to the world. A lot of people in Europe think your rights come from the government, not the other way around. No one had ever done this 'for real' before. Look what it says here just before where they signed it, it means they knew they were risking their lives:"

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor

"OK, dad, see ya."

An hour later, his mother asked me, "Did you give him a printout of the Declaration of Independence?" "Yup," I proudly responded.

She laughed, "He said, 'Dad really expects me to read this on the schoolbus'"

[nathanbedford]

Every year my wife asks me, "are you going to post your vanity about the Declaration of Independence again this year?" Her question is really rhetorical, she knows I intend to post it because it has become a tradition in the family much like whether you open your Christmas presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. A family tradition like what your family has for Christmas dinner, turkey or ham? Or, do you display the flag on Memorial Day?

For us, living as we do here in Germany, it is our way of holding fast to our America. So every year we keep the tradition and we look forward to the reactions of FReepers which have been consistently gratifying and even heartwarming.

Incidentally, the boy in the vanity is now taller than I am and will finish school here next year and then will hopefully follow his older brother who leaves for America and college in a few weeks.

Our family here in Germany wishes all of you at home a joyful Fourth of July.

[skr]

And a Happy Independence Day to you and yours!

[Boogieman]

Hmm... Frohliche Gluckwunsh am Umabhangikeistag?

[Randy Larsen]

And a damned fine tradition it is Nathan!

Happy Independence Day to you and yours!

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

I hope that at some point in Germany, you follow in the footsteps of H.L. Mencken in the proud American tradition of telling Germans some real whoppers of tall tales about life in America.

In his case, he told of being invited on a hunt in Florida, in which alligators on leashes were used in place of hunting dogs.

Others, following in his footsteps, have told them of logrolling California giant redwoods, geyser rides at Yellowstone, seeing winds of the Midwest blowing large cast-iron cooking pots like tumbleweeds, and lots of tales of the Old West, gunslingers, cowboys and Indians.

This is especially good when you use either a deep southern or western accent, which sounds pleasing to Germans trained in “continental English.”

One amusing incident was of a US Army soldier stationed in Stuttgart, who was wearing western blue jeans, boots, and cowboy hat while talking with some German students who were friends of his in a bar.

One of the Germans groaned on seeing their table approached by a wildly punk girl who he knew despised America and Americans. When she arrived, without even an introduction, she launched into a litany of insults against the American, blaming America for everything that was wrong in the world and in a sneering and contemptuous manner.

He just sat there, quietly looking at her, until she finally demanded that he speak. He paused, looking at this weirdo in front of him, in her gaudy punk outfit and hair, then paused again before finally saying:

“Yew know, whar I come from, we shoot people look like yew.”

The Germans at the table about injured themselves laughing so hard, and the punk girl flushed, then stomped off in great humiliation, which made it even funnier.

[knarf]

Hell ... I got all that in grammer school .... No one remembers Pecos Bill or Paul Bunyun with Babe, the Great Nlue Ox ?

[thesearethetimes...]

Happy Independence Day Bump!!!

May God give us the strength and wisdom we will need, in order to regain it!
Tatt

[Pat4ever]

Happy Independence Day! Reliance on Divine Providence, then and now.

[Windflier]

Great annual tradition, NathanBedford. Thanks for posting!