TCEQ Complaint Report (Don't Mess in Texas)

Office of Judge Daniel Burkeen, Limestone County, Texas ^ | March 31, 2010 | Judge Daniel Burkeen

[Natural Born 54]

This is a portion of an actual complaint received by the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality:

4/13/10
Incident #13926
Limestone County

INITIAL PROBLEM: On 03/09/2010 a complaint was received at the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality Waco Regional Office. The complaint alleges that David Cousins had been leasing out a hunting cabin and allowing the hunters to defecate in the woods. It also alleged that there is no restroom and Mr. Cousins is planning to extend plumbing into a creek next to the cabin. The cabin is located at 2785 FM 1246 E., Thornton (Limestone County), Texas 76687-2536. (fb/ks)

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ACTION TAKEN:

This incident was received by the Region 9 Water Section and assigned to an investigator.

Persuant to the Texas Administrative Code Title 30 §285.71(a) - Authorized Agent Enforcement of OSSF Complaint, this Complaint is within the jurisdiction of the local code enforcement authority of Limistone County, Texas.

On 03/17/2010 this complaint was referred to Judge Daniel Burkeen, Authorized Agent, Limestone County, for further investigation.

This is the full resolution to the matter: (letter)

FROM:
Daniel Burkeen
County Judge
Limestone County

TO:
Mr. Tim Blackmon
Water and Waste Section Work Leader
Waco Regional Office
Texas Commission on Environmental Quality

March 31, 2010

RE: TCEQ Incident No. 136926

Dear Tim,

We have had some delay in our investigation of the incidents alleged in the complaint which you kindly forwarded to us. The problem is, we have recently had a rash of reports of cows, horses, sheep and goats defecating at will in pastures throughout the county. On top of this, we suspect that wild hogs, deer and all sorts of other animals are defecating without even trying to find a proper facility. In addition, I have personal proof on my windshield of a mischievous bird defecating in flight. The culprit flew away but I did get a description. It was red. The gift it left was white.

In order to complete our investigation, I must ask, should we inquire into urination, or only defecation? I strongly believe that both are taking place, since hunters have long been suspected of taking a good amount of liquid refreshments with them into the woods. Also, we are collecting samples of the activities of these diabolical defecating reprobates. Should we send these to you, or directly to Austin?

Lastly, please allow us to to handle this at the local level, and do not involve the federal government. When it comes to matters of excessive defecation, Washington bureaucrates would only add to our misery.

"Don't mess in Texas."

Very truly yours,

Daniel Burkeen

DB/

[Natural Born 54]

Someone sent this to me by email. The sender, whom I know well, claims this is genuine - I believe him. Thought it was entertaining enough to post. Gotta love Texas!

[Natural Born 54]

Ping (Texas)

You might enjoy this.

[101voodoo]

Are there any Bears in Texas....?

[Natural Born 54]

Black bears, probably in the woods :-).

[Fresh Wind]

[Natural Born 54]

That’s pretty cute!

[I Buried My Guns]

Mr. Cousins is planning to extend plumbing into a creek next to the cabin.

Hey, wait minute. I drink from that creek!

[Windflier]

Thanks for the morning chuckle!

[Zippo44]

Does a hunter s**t in the woods Ping

[annieokie]

"""""I have personal proof on my windshield of a mischievous bird defecating in flight"""""

Actually when BILL and HILL were in office, I used that bird poop to good cause.

Put wording on my windshield in shoe polish "the Clintons flew over".

[Navy Patriot]

Tim Blackmon might want to change his name.