Posted on 11/27/2008 7:15:11 PM PST by Oyarsa
Want a man to propose? Be a bitch In Why Men Marry Bitches, Sherry Argov says women shouldn’t be so nice
Have you ever wondered what makes a man want to marry a particular woman? Is it about timing? Sex? Money? In her new book, “Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart,” Sherry Argov shows women how to transform a casual relationship into a committed one. She explains that being nice to your man won’t make him more devoted. In her interviews with men, Argov found that men want to commit to women who exude confidence and are in control of their lives. She was invited on “Today” to discuss her book.
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
Ladies: What has your experience been?
Baloney.
Why do you say ‘baloney’?
Wouldn’t work for me. My first marriage, I proposed in spite of it, not because of it. Now that I’m older, my tolerance for bitchiness approaches zero.
It worked for Hilary and Michelle.
B.S.
Before marriage, we had fun.
After marriage, she changed.
And that was 14 years ago.
In my case, it was to get closer to her sister.
Probably not the best strategy in retrospect.
Owl_Eagle
If what I just wrote made you sad or angry,
it was probably just a joke.
Baloney!! a man doesn’t propose because you’re nice or mean, he proposes because he loves you. I know I was both, and he still proposed, because we also both knew how to own up when we messed up.
It’s a large mountain of crap.
The way to my heart is by being an exceptional, nice person, not somebody I can’t stand to be around.
I do not agree with the headline. I stay clear of ****. I do agree that a relationship with someone who knows who they are and what they want in life is refreshing. In fact, this applies to non-romantic relationships, including business dealings and friendships.
Confidence and in control of your life does NOT make you a b!tch. Get real. It makes you an adult, period.
The author is mistaking bitchiness with confidence. Confidence and a sense of self is very attractive, but too many women think that being antagonistic is the same thing. It isn’t. You see this with women in business as well.
Bitchiness may lead to a proposal but it will most likely be the cause of an unhappy marriage leading to divorce.
Happy marriages are about compromise and respect. Bitches don’t compromise, and rarely show respect.
This book does not encourage anyone to be a bitch in the usual sense of the word. By "bitch" the writer appears to mean a calm, logical, assertive woman who stands on her own two feet, respects herself, and doesn't go crawling and begging after men. It decidedly does not mean someone who is bad-tempered, insulting, demanding, or obnoxious.
On to my experiences:
I really have found that it's possible to be too nice, too supportive, too forgiving. No one respects a worm who crawls around on her belly begging for attention, pleading for love, whining, crying, pouting, and generally being in the position of the petitioner. Men do seem to prefer women who are wholly supportive but are also strong and not needy.
When I was young I made the mistake several times of getting into a position of loving a man more than he loved me. It was humiliating. The best and closest relationships I've had with men developed when we both knew that I loved them, but was not helpless and dependent on them for emotional sustenance; I had my own life, my own interests, and seemed that much more desirable for not whining or manipulating to get his time.
This book is amusing but also offers some good practical advice. It specifically advises marriage-minded women NOT to manipulate men. Most of the men I know who have read it agreed with what it said, despite the alarming title.
I can see how that might present a small problem...
Well said!
In many cases both points are very unwarranted.
“Gentleman: Do you agree with the premise of the article? “
Nope.
Uh...no...
It should be a warning, not an inticement.
In India it is not the norm for people to sleep together, much less live together, before getting married. That’s a strong incentive for marriage. In the West, the old saying “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” seems to have been largely forgotten, and women wonder why their boyfriends don’t propose.
My parents are Indian (I was born here), as is my wife.
Then the writer is misusing the word for shock value and is simply not worth reading.
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