Posted on 03/30/2006 1:08:16 PM PST by ChessMan
Man Who Had Sex With Sleeping Wife Charged Wife Says She Asked Him Not To Do That
POSTED: 10:57 am EST March 30, 2006
FORT COLLINS, Colo. -- A 28-year-old man faces a charge of sexual assault and one count of domestic violence harassment for allegedly having sex with his wife while she was sleeping.
An arrest affidavit stated that the woman reported being awakened about 30 times over the last year to find her husband having sex or oral sex with her.
She told Fort Collins police that she confronted her husband several times, telling him that she felt like she was being raped and wanted the behavior to stop.
The woman told investigators that her husband took advantage of the fact that she was "an extremely hard sleeper," according to the arrest affidavit.
According to the affidavit, the man admitted to having sex with her and taking nude photos of her while she was sleeping during a recorded phone call on March 11.
Names have not been released because the crime involves an alleged sexual assault and identifying the husband could lead to the woman's identification.
Only about 10 percent of sexual assaults are reported, according to KMGH-TV in Denver, but the reporting rate for spousal sexual assaults is even lower than that.
Not stalking, and, btw, i complimented you on this thread. All my posts to you have been quite civil, which is far more than I can say about yours.
I won't post to you any more if you don't post personal attacks and try to define what others are and are not allowed to post on FR.
Have a great evening!
T6
Nice try!
;-)
DD
I reeally am a nice guy. Told ya!
Hey, I didn't even use any white text!
Yes, but you are clearly hitting your head against the same wall as before. Some people learn after the first headache.
Enjoy!
I still get hangovers after all these years.
Tobie, move along. The adults are talking amongst themsevles here.
You might be right. However, a guy who has to steal it or demand it probably has no clue about how to make his lover crave it. That's the secret, become considerate enough and gentle enough and selfless enough so she dreams about it.
It would be boastful if I added, "Works for me" ;-)
(Denny Crane: "I Don't Want To Socialize With A Pinko Liberal Democrat Commie. Say What You Like About Republicans. We Stick To Our Convictions. Even When We Know We're Dead Wrong.")
Or how a woman can tell is her husband is dead? Sex is about the same, but she gets the TV remote.
we do not have enough info.perhaps she witholds herself from him during the day.In that case she would be every bit as guilty as him.
"sanctify human mating"
There's nothing sanctified about oral. Sanctified lovemaking is when a husband and wife look at each other eye to eye, face to face, lip to lip.
"His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me."
Song of Solomon 2:6
Yea, and I'm not going to try to defend a husband that would repeatedly do such; but I do agree with "Ohioan" that this is not the same type of crime as a "rape."
Such behavior, between a married couple, really isn't in a standard "rape" category. And I'm not at all sure that our criminal statutes and enforcement mechanisms are appropriate for dealing with such things.
Don't invite the police into your bedroom unless your quite sure you want them there.
Just waiting to hear that he suffers some sleep disorder related to sex. It exists. I forget what it is called.
The notion that a person gives up all right to (or any portion of) the sanctity of herself simply because she is married is 12th century at best. No one owes another person sex. Period.
As for your suggestion that the "Song of Solomon" or "Song of Songs," is a pitch against orally addressing your mate? Read it through, friend! It has passages which describe the images and tastes of addressing the whole body of a woman. Solomon was a very lusty fellow!
I agree with that being a basic definition of rape, and that it would clearly encompass this "sex while asleep" situation.
But when the sex act at issue is between a married couple, and the "force" that is asserted to have been used was that the husband ignored the repeated statements by the wife of "don't do that while I'm sleeping, etc." I think prosecuting such behavior as rape could end up having very negative consequences.
The husbands behavior is obviously offensive, but it's also reasonable to assume that the wife has in fact granted some degree of consent by the fact that she did chose to marry the jerk and that she continued to sleep with him.
I see a clear case for the wife to file a divorce based on the husband being a creep. And I would have understood why she would have locked him out of the bedroom. In fact, if she truly felt "raped" by his behavior, I have to ask why she didn't take further steps to prevent it, such as locking him out of the bedroom?
Do you really want the police to decide whether one marriage partner's anger at, and disgust with, the other, meets the standards for rape? And if you think leaving such judgements in the hands of the police isn't a problem, well, would the first incident of "sex while asleep" have been a rape? How would you suggest the police decide such a question? Wouldn't it depend on whether the wife enjoyed/hated it or not? How would the police reliably determine that?
Consider a more general situation: One marriage partner complains to police that "I've told him/her several times that I hate it when he/she does that during sex; I want him/her arrested." Should the police make an arrest for rape? Does it really matter what the "that" is if one partner has repeatedly complained about it?
Isn't separation or divorce the more sensible and appropriate solution?
Have I completely ruined whatever reputation I may have had as a decent guy by making this argument?
It was probably understood at one time in history, and probably to this day in other cultures, that if a man was mistreating his wife, he'd have her father, brothers and other kinsfolk to answer to. So there was less opportunity for the state to get involved in domestic issues.
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