Posted on 02/15/2006 10:51:23 AM PST by Red Badger
It all started over an innocent lunchroom conversation. A co-worker’s wife is a gourmet cheese maker in Maine. She had just been written up in the New York Times for her cheese-making ability and knew a thing or two about cheese.
But there was some news in the cheese-making world that had her cheese-making juices flowing, my co-worker told us. A man was apparently milking a moose and making cheese. He was charging $500 a pound. The cheese community was in "abuzz" over this moose-milking man. (Warning: If you try to say moose milking repeatedly, it becomes mook a milse). Since I was headed to Maine the very next week, I needed to know more about this moose milker. When an off-beat subject like this comes my way, I must find out more.
My co-worker returned with the sad news that the moose milker actually was in Sweden the country, not Sweden, Maine. I decided to find out all I could about this moose cheese on my own. The questions were endless. How does one milk a moose? How do they get the moose to stand still? Is it illegal to milk a moose? And why is it so expensive?
Somehow moose cheese doesn’t sound very appetizing to me. And so I turned to the logical place as I began my investigation into moose milk cheese: google.com. There was one story written by an Associated Press writer, which was picked up by every major news organization in the country - and beyond. According to the article, the moose cheese is made at a farm called (surprise) "The Moose House" in northern Sweden. The owners, Christer and Ulla Johansson, started milking moose seven years ago. Here’s another surprise: They claim they are the only moose dairy in Sweden. As it turns out, they’re not the only moose dairy in the world. They got the idea to milk a moose from some farms in Russia that also milk moose. They are, however, the only ones in the world who thought to make moose cheese.
The Moose House has 14 moose, but only "Haelga," "Gullan" and "Juna" are milked. The farmers found these three moose in the woods when they were only babes and had been abandoned. As a result, these three are tame enough to allow milking. The article goes on to say that the cheese is so expensive because the moose can only be milked for five months a year. It takes two hours to milk a moose and each moose produces a gallon of moose milk each day. The Moose House hopes to export some of this cheese at a later date. It is now sold to restaurants in Sweden.
Google.com also turned up a few other results for the search of "moose milk." As it turns out moose milk is the traditional Canadian Christmas drink, similar to our eggnog. But it’s not what you think. The yuletide version of moose milk is actually a mixture of sugar, water, rum and cream. In some recipes, the cream and sugar is substituted for vanilla ice cream. The Canadian moose milk sounds much better to me than the real thing in Sweden.
The moose cheese also gained interest on a message board for homesteadingtoday.com. Some of the new-aged homesteaders (like the ones featured in the show on public television) were considering milking moose. A man named Ken wrote, "One aspect about milking moose, you could just about do it standing up." I thought, good idea, Ken, because you would also be in a better position to run when the moose tries to kick, bite, stomp or squash you. A homesteader named George was on the same wavelength as me and wrote. "Moose bites can be very serious," George wrote. "My sister was bit by a moose once."
I now had more information about the moose milk cheese. But I was still having a hard time swallowing it. I couldn’t imagine that this cheese would taste good. All that came to my mind was sour milk for some reason. A few days later, I met my editor, Deborah, downtown in Exeter for a drink after work. I had to tell her about the moose cheese. A local man, who shall remain nameless, sat with us as I told about this moose cheese phenomenon.
"I’d like to milk a moose," he told us.
OK, that was more information than I needed, or wanted, to know. And I told him precisely that. It reminded me of the dinner scene in the movie "Meet the Parents" where Ben Stiller tells how he once milked a cat. His explanation was that you can milk anything with the proper female anatomy. Apparently that now includes moose.
The next stop on my moose milk cheese investigation was La Cave a Vin on Water Street. Some people suffer withdrawals from cigarettes. Well, I was suffering withdrawals from the mango stilton cheese that shop owner Laura Hartman served at her one-year anniversary party. I also knew if anyone in Exeter would know about moose cheese, it would be Laura. You see, she imports a variety of cheeses from all over the world to sell at her shop. Laura had never heard of the moose cheese. She surmised it would be a bit "gamey." I asked her if she thought anyone would actually buy moose cheese for $500 a pound. She pointed out that people will buy anything and predicted the moose cheese could go over big in New York City.
Still, I wondered, what would happen if someone managed to domesticate a moose around here? Could they milk that moose? I couldn’t imagine that would be legal, and so I called the State Fish and Game Department. I managed to connect with Sgt. Bruce Bonenfant in the law enforcement division. I was afraid he was going to think I was nuts asking about milking a moose. But my curiosity was in full gear at that point.
Bonenfant had never heard of someone milking a moose. First, he told me, you would have to be "in legal possession of a moose." Here in New Hampshire, that is totally illegal. It is however legal to own elk and several varieties of deer for agricultural purposes. So, New Hampshire could become the deer cheese capital of the world if any of the state’s deer farmers are so inclined. (Remember what our local cheese expert said: People will buy anything). Although I’m not a fan, I’ve been told venison is a very low-fat meat. With the latest trend of low-carb, low-fat dieting, deer cheese could be the next big thing. And at $250 per pound, it would be a bargain.
Bonenfant also told me that he couldn’t imagine how anyone could actually physically milk a moose. "They tend to be pretty wild animals," he said. "They’re not the type of animal you can really train." He said he only knows of one moose that has been trained - the one that used to walk across the road in the show "Northern Exposure." And even that moose wasn’t exactly trained. It was only trained to walk where the handlers directed it to go. It certainly wouldn’t stand still for two hours to be milked.
Then I had another thought. What if one of our state representatives sponsored a bill making it legal to possess a moose? A few moose cheese-making farms around the state and we could solve the state education funding crisis. In the meantime, I have found a location where all interested in trying moose milk cheese (when it becomes legal to import it) can taste the delicacy. As I was leaving the Foxfire Grill in Epping last weekend, I stopped to say hello to owner Rob Graham. He asked what I was writing about these days and I told him about the moose milk cheese. Enthusiastic as always, Rob told me he didn’t care if it was $500 a pound, he would host a moose cheese tasting. Any takers?
- Lara Bricker is a former staff writer for the Exeter News-Letter. She can be reached at larabricker@hotmail.com.
Now, if only they were biting moose....
My sister once tried to milk a Moose - it bit her.
You don't milk the moose. You milk the elk.
A FREEPER NO DOUBT!!
Well, my nickname in high school was moose... ;-P
No, just a Monty Python fan.
OH WOW! I missed that! In that case I got a THREE-FER! MOOSE CHEESE SISTER in the SAME ARTICLE!!!!!!!!!
Aren't the horns dangerous?.......
It costs $500.00 to draw out for a permit to hunt Moose here in Utah. Why stettle for just a pound for $500 when you can have "..the head, the tail, the whole damn thing..."
Nah, if you milk an elk with horns you get a new friend for life.
You bet.
It ain't a fit night out for man nor beast..
Utah has meeses?......
Oh yeah. Tons of them. In fact we just exported about 25 of them into Colorado to help them build up their population.
They must be Mormon Meeses then..........
I haven't seen any at church lately, but I suppose it's possible.
My neighborhood is always being canvassed by Mormon missionaries.......They ride bikes and wear helmets......no antlers though.......
That was the one thing that was hard to get used to as a missionary was having to wear a helmet while in a suit. Riding the bike wasn't that bad, but the helmet just bugged me. But it was the rules. We had to keep safe.
I think if the helmets had antlers, I would have WANTED to wear it. That would have been cool.
I have known plenty of sister missionaries (female missionaries) who had the disposition of a cantankerous moose though.
Veeery carefully..
Here in Florida, it's the law. You wouldn't feel out of place here on your bike, except for the suits..........
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