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Strange Child Support 'Reasons' Dallas Women List [HUMOR]
StrangeCosmos.com ^ | UNK. | UNK.

Posted on 09/24/2005 9:35:45 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows

The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Number 11 takes the prize.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS:
Veracity questionable, hilarity not.
1 posted on 09/24/2005 9:35:45 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
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To: Slings and Arrows; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Old Sarge; SandyInSeattle; ...
#11 is almost Zen.
---
This-Is-Not-A-Ping-List ping!

[Freepmail me to get on or off this Not-A-Ping-List.]

2 posted on 09/24/2005 9:38:35 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Every family should have a crew-served weapon.")
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To: Slings and Arrows; tubebender; Pete-R-Bilt; NormsRevenge; B4Ranch; Squantos; Eaker; humblegunner

I love lima beans.

And black-eyed peas.

Pintos.

Great Northerns.

Kidneys.

Wondered why it's so noisy around here.

It's all them dang kids.


3 posted on 09/24/2005 10:00:39 PM PDT by glock rocks (Bring back dirndl !!!)
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To: Slings and Arrows
Largely the same stuff here, with different names, but still funny.

I love #6.

4 posted on 09/24/2005 10:16:18 PM PDT by martin_fierro (|\/|4R71|\|_P|-|13RR0)
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To: martin_fierro

Gulibility is known the world over.

#11 seems to be a late addition. In all fairness, it seems very Texan.


5 posted on 09/24/2005 10:23:08 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Every family should have a crew-served weapon.")
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To: glock rocks

I like cheese, but then I'm childfree.


6 posted on 09/24/2005 10:29:43 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Every family should have a crew-served weapon.")
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To: Slings and Arrows

Actually, I was wondering how long it would be before someone posted "I like cheese" on this thread.


7 posted on 09/24/2005 10:31:42 PM PDT by glock rocks (Bring back dirndl !!!)
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To: glock rocks

Glad to satisfy your curiousity.

The moose and my sister will be along shortly.


8 posted on 09/24/2005 10:33:21 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Every family should have a crew-served weapon.")
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To: Slings and Arrows
6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!...(gasp!) BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

9 posted on 09/24/2005 11:08:55 PM PDT by Alien Gunfighter (Socialist liberals never imagine themselves as peasants under their 'perfect' socialist regime)
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To: Alien Gunfighter
I've found a picture of the father:


10 posted on 09/24/2005 11:14:34 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Every family should have a crew-served weapon.")
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To: Slings and Arrows

i remember recently reading what "I like Cheese" really means on FR, but for the life of me, I can not remember. What does it mean again?


11 posted on 09/24/2005 11:49:01 PM PDT by TheresaKett
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To: TheresaKett

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/673536/posts?page=8#8


12 posted on 09/25/2005 12:27:04 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Every family should have a crew-served weapon.")
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To: Slings and Arrows; glock rocks

You have identified the Big Bean. Congratulations!


13 posted on 09/25/2005 6:17:30 AM PDT by B4Ranch (Reality: By the time you get your head together, your body's shot to hell.)
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To: glock rocks

Irish 239 bean soup ~ why 239 beans? One more bean would be twofarty :)


14 posted on 09/25/2005 6:43:14 AM PDT by 68 grunt (3/1 India, 3rd, 68-69, 0311)
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To: TheresaKett

Cheese? Absolutely nothing to do with anything, but hey, its cheese ...


15 posted on 09/25/2005 6:44:46 AM PDT by 68 grunt (3/1 India, 3rd, 68-69, 0311)
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To: Slings and Arrows; TheresaKett

"Behold, the power of cheese!"


16 posted on 09/25/2005 9:53:43 AM PDT by Darksheare (There is a Possum in the works.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Thanks! I saved that Lexicon for further reference...pretty helpful... Btw - I love cheese :-)


17 posted on 09/25/2005 10:24:33 AM PDT by TheresaKett
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To: TheresaKett

You are quite welcome. May your beeber never be stuned.


18 posted on 09/25/2005 11:42:25 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Every family should have a crew-served weapon.")
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To: Slings and Arrows

lol...just spent the last 30 minutes or so looking up beeber references


19 posted on 09/25/2005 11:56:12 PM PDT by TheresaKett
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To: TheresaKett

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1162751/posts

unnngh...


20 posted on 09/26/2005 12:49:42 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Every family should have a crew-served weapon.")
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