"Winky Dink, and me. Winky Dink, and you.."
Posted on 12/05/2004 4:27:23 PM PST by CHARLITE
From "Greg" of the United States Army "Vietvet" (Ret) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
PRICELESS GRANDPARENT STORIES --- you don't have to be a grandparent to enjoy these!!
1. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
2. A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like:
"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
3. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
4. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
5. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these for yourself!"
6. A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
7. Our five-year-old son couldn't wait to tell his father about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!!"
8. When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four to six."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add 'es'"
(What English teacher wouldn't love that one)
Subject: Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No, said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close...."They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant.
Wonderful! Thanks.
ROFL!
Thanks for these. I love the logic of kids.
Ping!
LOL! The best part of waking up, is soldiers in your cup!
Here are some sayings from my daughter's second grade class.
The teacher read them partially and the child had to complete it:
All work and no play makes Jack mad.
Haste makes you fast.
Don't cross that bridge until I say to!
Two wrongs do not make sense.
Where there's smoke, there's a fire drill.
Don't count your chicken before you slice it! (good accounting trick)
You can lead a horse to water but it will splash on you!
Necessity is the mother of unnecessary.
ROFL!!!! what a screaming riot!!!!
I've always liked ....and to the Republic for Richard Sands.
We've been watching Peter Pan in the last three or four weeks when our grandsons come to spend Friday nights.
Lately the 3 and a half year old has been telling everybody he "doesn't want to grow up to be a dult."
As much as I have always enjoyed these types of things, I had an idea they were the imaginings of adults........That is until I got my mother's day present from my kindergartener last year.
The teacher had each child write down his/her favorite recipe and then compiled the whole thing into a booklet. No matter how many times I reread it I still roar laughing over it!!
Needless to say, I no longer doubt the veracity of these stories!
Hee Hee!!!!
I think I saw you on the black and white television we had. It was right after Winky Dink. :-)
"The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"
Laughing so hard I'm crying...
My grandson informed me a couple of months ago that I'm not the oldest in the family. Seems his dad's grandmother is 100!
"Winky Dink, and me. Winky Dink, and you.."
Remember Sheriff John and Engineer Bill and his "Red light / Green light"?
When our son was 3 we took a trip to the beach, where there were lots of jelly fish. We warned him several times not to touch or step on them. On one of our walks he stopped in front of one of the jelly fish and seemed to be studying in. He looks up at me and asked, "Where are the peanut butter fish?".
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