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Soccer Finally Interesting
Babylon Bee ^ | 12/15/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 12/15/2022 9:51:33 AM PST by DFG

PARIS — According to reports, watching soccer is finally interesting as France descends into fiery chaos after a Morocco semi-final loss.

"Wow, now THIS is entertaining," said one viewer while watching a Morocco supporter beating up a French guy with a stale baguette while several others lit the Louvre on fire. "Look at all the fighting and explosions! Why can't soccer always be like this?"

Early reports indicate World Cup viewership is now at an all-time high as people around the world tune in to see massive, fiery street brawls. "Who knew watching soccer could be such an engaging experience?" said another viewer. "I've always wondered if a French guy could take a Moroccan in a sword fight on top of a burning car, and now I know!"

Authorities are urging everyone in the country to stop fighting and get back in their homes so everyone can resume watching 22 players run around a giant field doing nothing and scoring no goals for 2 hours. "Please! Show some respect for the beauty and dignity of this sport!" said Paris Police Prefecture Monsieur Bonjour Croissant before chucking a tear gas canister into the face of an angry Moroccan, much to the delight of millions of viewers.

At publishing time, the millions had prayed for a French loss in the finals so they could see some cool fights again.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; france; morocco; soccer; worldcup

1 posted on 12/15/2022 9:51:33 AM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Becoming like hockey?


2 posted on 12/15/2022 9:56:23 AM PST by Mogger
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To: DFG

The Bee hits another homer... Love it!


3 posted on 12/15/2022 10:03:43 AM PST by Deplorable American1776 (Defund the FBI, the American Stasi..)
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To: DFG

NO WAY , there’s too much running for me ,LOL


4 posted on 12/15/2022 10:11:45 AM PST by butlerweave
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I lost interest in the WC after the US was eliminated. I prefer the English Premier League. Can't wait till Boxing Day when it resumes.

ff

5 posted on 12/15/2022 10:13:41 AM PST by foreverfree
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To: DFG

No it isn’t.


6 posted on 12/15/2022 10:34:08 AM PST by Kaiser8408a (z)
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To: DFG

I would much prefer to see Australian Rules Football than either Soccer or American Football.


7 posted on 12/15/2022 10:37:30 AM PST by Bernard (“the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state but from the hand of God." JFK 1-20-61)
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To: DFG

maybe if they lit the ball on fire, more people would watch...


8 posted on 12/15/2022 10:41:42 AM PST by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: Chode
maybe if they lit the ball on fire, more people would watch...

I think that every other 5 minutes one team needs to pull 3 people from their team off the field.

9 posted on 12/15/2022 10:44:47 AM PST by 1Old Pro
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To: DFG

The French team looked more like a team from Africa than Europe. Mostly blacks with a couple token whites, just like an NBA team.

Morocco team was whiter than the French.


10 posted on 12/15/2022 10:58:05 AM PST by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how thery control you. )
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To: DFG

Morocco was held scoreless by Spain and then won anyway. Then they won 1-0, before being destroyed by France, 2-0. They’ll next face Croatia, which beat Japan 1-1, and then upset superpower Brazil, 1-1.

And Euroweenies wonder why Americans hate “football.” Well, except those who got excited by the strip tease after the U.S. women’s team beat China, 0-0.


11 posted on 12/15/2022 11:04:25 AM PST by dangus
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To: aquila48

This is why the African nations have never even made it to the semis before. The best players migrate to Europe, where they dominate.


12 posted on 12/15/2022 11:05:48 AM PST by dangus
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To: 1Old Pro

>> I think that every other 5 minutes one team needs to pull 3 people from their team off the field. <<

So.... hockey?


13 posted on 12/15/2022 11:06:37 AM PST by dangus
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To: dangus
So.... hockey?

So less defense and hopefully more goals. What would be wrong with a 9-7 game, 1-0 is boring.

14 posted on 12/15/2022 11:08:46 AM PST by 1Old Pro
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To: dangus
Morocco was held scoreless by Spain and then won anyway. Then they won 1-0, before being destroyed by France, 2-0. They’ll next face Croatia, which beat Japan 1-1, and then upset superpower Brazil, 1-1.

I think Morocco had not given up a goal going into yesterday's semifinal. There is nothing more boring than watching a 0 - 0 tie in soccer. Truthfully, the game is designed to make it very difficult to score. And a lot of times that's what you get. I predict Argentina 3 France 2.

15 posted on 12/15/2022 11:12:18 AM PST by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. )
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To: DFG

I got over kick ball in the 3rd grade.


16 posted on 12/15/2022 11:15:57 AM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn...)
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To: 1Old Pro

I agree. I was making fun of hockey’s penalty boxes.


17 posted on 12/15/2022 11:20:06 AM PST by dangus
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To: Rummyfan
There is nothing more boring than watching a 0 - 0 tie in soccer.

There would be fewer 0-0 snoozers if teams lost points for a tie: 3 points for a win, 0 points for a loss, and -1 points for a tie. Also, faking an injury anywhere on the pitch should result in a penalty kick and three game suspension.

18 posted on 12/15/2022 11:26:11 AM PST by Labyrinthos
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To: dangus; DFG

“This is why the African nations have never even made it to the semis before. The best players migrate to Europe, where they dominate.”

The French team should be called the “French foreign legion”. (there are other national teams as well that fit the description).

The name of most western teams in the WC have little to do with the ethnic nationalities of the players. The players are just mercenaries. (only east European, Asian and African teams still reflect the ethnicity of their country)

They should rename it the “world mercenary cup”.


19 posted on 12/15/2022 12:00:52 PM PST by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how thery control you. )
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To: All

They also try very hard to proselytize for Islam , there.


20 posted on 12/15/2022 3:00:35 PM PST by Words Matter
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