Schumer Pitches Amnesty [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 November 2022 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Insisting that "it's long past the point where we have to admit that we need the swarms of immigrants crossing our borders," Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) said as he urged Republicans to "join me in enacting amnesty and citizenship for these people."

"We need to face the fact that Americans are too lazy to work and reproduce," the Senator declared. "There are millions of job vacancies that cannot be filled because citizens prefer to loaf and draw checks from the government. There are millions of babies that aren't born because we've made abortion convenient and cost-free. If we don't import more people our population will dwindle and our civilization will decline."

"Fortunately, Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and I are in pretty close agreement on these issues," Schumer revealed. "I think there's a good chance that he and I can work together to negate the baleful influence the MAGA crowd has on legislation. Mitch isn't an America First kind of guy. If he can persuade the moderates in his Party to participate in a unity government with us there's no way we can be stopped. Extremists in his Party can be kept off of all committees and denied opportunities to speak out against our democracy."

McConnell said he would "meet with Schumer to hear what he has to offer. If he is willing to apportion a fair share of spending to those Republicans willing to cooperate in enacting the appropriations and tax increases needed I think the idea of a unified government could be the way to go. As a show of good faith I have already started the ball rolling on discussions of amnesty for DACA recipients. The big question is whether we will be able to convince enough Republicans in the House to partner with the Democrats to achieve a working uni-party majority in that chamber."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,485163.0.html

[dynachrome]

I thought schumer was a ‘catcher’.

;)

[RideForever]

The Deplorables want a Comprehensive Immigration Enforcement bill, missing since 1986 ONE TIME amnesty. Since that amnesty was granted already, a second amnesty is off the table. What remains is the enforcement the Democrats have disallowed since then.

The List of Comprehensive Immigration Enforcement, missing since 1986 goes like this -
1) southern barrier;
2) require eVerify to hire;
3) end all chain migration;
4) birthright per Minor v. Happersett (plural parents);
5) end work visas;
6) 40-year moratorium on all new applications for citizenship (to allow workplace automation effects on downsizing population);
7) Set up an illegal aliens’ victim restitution fund from tax on remittances. Use tax on remittances to replenish Social Security account.

Enactment of these provisions will motivate illegal aliens to SELF-deport, and remove colonizadors from our welfare rolls.

[Vaduz]

Scads of kickback money in his scam from Wall Street and Corp.