Posted on 10/26/2022 11:06:23 AM PDT by John Semmens
Democrat candidate for Pennsylvania governor John Fetterman's personal physician Dr. Clifford Chen of Pittsburgh's UPMC declared the candidate "fit to serve in the US Senate. His political opponents contend that his inability to speak coherently makes him a bad choice to join the world's most famous deliberative body. However, the main business of a legislator lies not in deliberation and debate, but with making backroom deals to benefit his donors. If I didn't believe John could do that I wouldn't have donated to his campaign. My willingness to put my own money on the line should reassure voters that he is up to that job."
The fact that Fetterman requires the use of a computer screen that feeds him written captions of the questions from interviewers prompted NBC correspondent Dasha Burns to wonder "whether he truly understands what our conversation was about." President Biden, who has been traveling and campaigning with Fetterman this past week, tried to brush aside these concerns by pointing out that "I also have used these types of devices. Does that mean I'm unfit to serve as president? No one has ever said that I'm unfit. To the contrary, I am the most powerful man in the world. I am the Commander-in-Chief of the most awesome weapons in the world. If I give the order I can have anyone I want arrested, assassinated, or nuked. So, if I vouch for Fetterman you had better believe what I say or face the consequences."
During a stop on the joint Fetterman-Biden campaign swing though Pennsylvania, President Biden told a crowd that Fetterman's wife "Gisele would be a great lady in the Senate." When asked about this apparent gaffe, Biden insisted "I'm not joking. Other wives have taken over for their deceased or incapacitated husbands. Jean Carnahan took over when her husband Sen. Mel Carnahan was killed in a plane crash. And Jill has often taken over for me when I've been too tied or confused to figure out what to do. What I'm saying is Pennsylvania voters should have no qualms about electing John Fetterman because his wife can fill his shoes."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,483023.0.html
He’s sharper than Brandon.
Lord help us.
Will Fetterman pick Harris or O’Rourke for a running mate in 2024?
C’mon people! If BeijingBiden is fit to serve how can Fetterman not be?
F will be elected. And, his wife will serve, as the PedoPres remarked.
Update that to scariest ticket:
Kamala for President,
Fetterman for VP.
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