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Trump Parts Hudson River Leading Exodus Of New York Republicans To Florida
Babylon Bee ^ | 08/30/2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/31/2022 5:13:58 AM PDT by DFG

NEW YORK, NY — New York Governor Kathy Hochul recently informed New York Republicans that they're not welcome in her state. But lo, a chosen one of burnt papaya hue, Donald Trump, approached her and demanded that she let his people go. The Republicans' punishments then worsened, with Hochul ordering that they have to make bricks without any straw and severely increasing their tax burdens.

Hochul refused to bow to any of the plagues Trump called down upon her, until he said every baby would be born in her state and could not be killed legally any longer. This she could not bear and released the Republicans to go to the Promised Land of Florida.

Trump led millions of tax-paying Republicans from the state to the shores of the Hudson. There are faster routes to go, but Trump was using Apple Maps.

But alas! Governor Hochul changed her tune and hardened her heart and pursued Trump and his faithful followers with IRS agents, state troopers, and NYPD cops who threatened to beat them to a pulp. At the last possible moment, Trump humbly bowed his head and prayed, "O God in heaven! Please allow me to perform the most tremendous miracle of all time, that men may praise my name forever and say, 'That Trump did such good miracles; everyone says so!'" At these words, the waters of the Hudson parted, and Trump led his people across on dry land, while all the armies of the governor were swallowed up, and cried a great cry, and the people did rejoice, and there was feasting on fattened calfs, gorilla meat, and McDonald's.

Sadly, they were fated to wander for 40 years in Jersey.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bee; florida; hochul; hudson; trump

1 posted on 08/31/2022 5:13:58 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Awesome! Love the Bee


2 posted on 08/31/2022 5:16:29 AM PDT by txlurker
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To: DFG

“a chosen one of burnt papaya hue”

ROFLMAO!!!!


3 posted on 08/31/2022 5:23:05 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave)
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To: DFG

4 posted on 08/31/2022 5:24:21 AM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: DFG

Wonderful!


5 posted on 08/31/2022 5:36:51 AM PDT by livius
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To: DFG
Hochul's order of Republicans to leave the state has the feel of someone shouting "you can't fire be because I quit!" In this case you can't leave New York voluntarily because the governor is throwing you out. Don't even think New York's population loss is because of people not liking New York. This divorce is entirely New York's choice. Look, busloads of people are arriving here from Texas shouting their love for New York - just listen to them: "¿Donde esta la oficina de welfare?"
6 posted on 08/31/2022 5:37:46 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (The government sees you as either livestock or pet. If things get bad they will eat their pets too.)
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To: DFG

“Sadly, they were fated to wander for 40 years in Jersey”

Hey now!

There could be worse deity-imposed fates.

And it’s “New Jersey”, thank you very much.

Where’d you come from? York?


7 posted on 08/31/2022 5:40:40 AM PDT by one guy in new jersey
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To: Magnum44

Ouch.

That’s gonna leave a mark.


8 posted on 08/31/2022 5:41:22 AM PDT by one guy in new jersey
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To: KarlInOhio

Since Hochul is cool with bribing people, why not pay us to leave if she really wants us gone, hmmm?

Note to Hochul: Talk is cheap, sweetie.


9 posted on 08/31/2022 5:42:16 AM PDT by mewzilla (We need to repeal RCV wherever it's in use and go back to dumb voting machines.)
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Comment #10 Removed by Moderator

To: DFG

“Sadly, they were fated to wander for 40 years in Jersey.”

That is an awfully heavy price to pay.


11 posted on 08/31/2022 6:07:21 AM PDT by cdcdawg (Hoes mad! LOL! )
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To: DFG

Every line is bust-a-gut funny! From the Dims complaining about not being able to slaughter their first-born, to Trump saying everything is for him to get glory! LOL


12 posted on 08/31/2022 6:21:27 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: DFG

Sometimes the headline is enough for a good laugh.

Thank you Bee, for making my morning.


13 posted on 08/31/2022 6:22:42 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith…)
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To: DFG

This has to have moved into the top ten.


14 posted on 08/31/2022 6:23:44 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith…)
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To: cdcdawg

In particular, Hoboken.


15 posted on 08/31/2022 6:25:01 AM PDT by fatboy
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To: fatboy

Who needs a house out in Hackensack?


16 posted on 08/31/2022 6:25:59 AM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: DFG

Hochul is making Andy Cuomo look reasonable.


17 posted on 08/31/2022 6:27:44 AM PDT by 1Old Pro
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To: DFG

.


18 posted on 08/31/2022 6:41:27 AM PDT by wintertime ( Behind every government school teacher stand armed police.( Real bullets in those guns on the hip!))
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To: DFG

Clever x10!


19 posted on 08/31/2022 6:43:16 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam (Sometimes when you get to where you're supposed to be, it's too soon.)
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To: cdcdawg

I lived in South Jersey from 91-94. Very different place from North Jersey. Farm country.


20 posted on 08/31/2022 6:45:57 AM PDT by Texas resident ( Let's Go Brandon)
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