Posted on 07/21/2022 2:20:09 PM PDT by DFG
Hundreds of thousands of people are fleeing California for states like Texas and Florida, but it's not always easy to adjust to life in an American state.
Let's look at the 10 biggest adjustments fleeing Californians have to make in their new states:
Strange wet stuff falls from the sky once in a while. Try not to drive your car into a pole when this happens. Take a deep breath. You will get through it. People don't say "The" in front of highway names. If you're driving on I-10 in Texas, you'll feel the urge to say "The 10," but don't do it. It's wrong. You can't wear flip-flops to church. Not even your "nice" Vans flip-flops. Put on shoes like an adult. There's no need to call the police if you see someone with a gun strapped to their hip. It's OK. The guns can't jump out and hurt you, no matter what Newsom told you back in California. "Bless your heart" doesn't mean "bless your heart." Well, it might mean "bless your heart," but it's a safer bet that it means "that person's weird," or "you're an idiot," or "I don't like you." Or, it's a simple ending to a statement you've made about someone that you don't want to feel bad about. No one cares about your preferred pronouns. Go ahead and tell an old farmer in Oklahoma that you go by "they" pronouns. The look on his face will be worth it. Man-buns are unacceptable in a professional setting. Or any setting. You have to go into buildings without any kind of official warning that something inside there might cause cancer. You will just have to take the chance. Be strong. The weather cycles from hot to cold and back again on an annual basis. Do not be alarmed. These are called "seasons." You might have to make your own choices and take responsibility for your actions without the government taking care of you. This is the most difficult adjustment for Californians to make when they move to America, but with time, prayer (also acceptable in red states), and willpower, you can do it! Those are just a few of the many adjustments ex-Californians will have to make. If you've thought of any others, please leave them in the comments below to help these poor communists to enjoy capitalism away from their homeland.
Hundreds of thousands of people are fleeing California for states like Texas and Florida, but it’s not always easy to adjust to life in an American state.
Let’s look at the 10 biggest adjustments fleeing Californians have to make in their new states:
1. Strange wet stuff falls from the sky once in a while. Try not to drive your car into a pole when this happens. Take a deep breath. You will get through it.
2. People don’t say “The” in front of highway names. If you’re driving on I-10 in Texas, you’ll feel the urge to say “The 10,” but don’t do it. It’s wrong.
3. You can’t wear flip-flops to church. Not even your “nice” Vans flip-flops. Put on shoes like an adult.
4. There’s no need to call the police if you see someone with a gun strapped to their hip. It’s OK. The guns can’t jump out and hurt you, no matter what Newsom told you back in California.
5. “Bless your heart” doesn’t mean “bless your heart.” Well, it might mean “bless your heart,” but it’s a safer bet that it means “that person’s weird,” or “you’re an idiot,” or “I don’t like you.” Or, it’s a simple ending to a statement you’ve made about someone that you don’t want to feel bad about.
6. No one cares about your preferred pronouns. Go ahead and tell an old farmer in Oklahoma that you go by “they” pronouns. The look on his face will be worth it.
7. Man-buns are unacceptable in a professional setting. Or any setting.
8. You have to go into buildings without any kind of official warning that something inside there might cause cancer. You will just have to take the chance. Be strong.
9. The weather cycles from hot to cold and back again on an annual basis. Do not be alarmed. These are called “seasons.”
10. You might have to make your own choices and take responsibility for your actions without the government taking care of you. This is the most difficult adjustment for Californians to make when they move to America, but with time, prayer (also acceptable in red states), and willpower, you can do it!
Those are just a few of the many adjustments ex-Californians will have to make. If you’ve thought of any others, please leave them in the comments below to help these poor communists to enjoy capitalism away from their homeland.
Strange wet stuff falls from the sky once in a while. Try not to drive your car into a pole when this happens. Take a deep breath. You will get through it.
People don’t say “The” in front of highway names. If you’re driving on I-10 in Texas, you’ll feel the urge to say “The 10,” but don’t do it. It’s wrong.
You can’t wear flip-flops to church. Not even your “nice” Vans flip-flops. Put on shoes like an adult.
There’s no need to call the police if you see someone with a gun strapped to their hip. It’s OK. The guns can’t jump out and hurt you, no matter what Newsom told you back in California.
“Bless your heart” doesn’t mean “bless your heart.” Well, it might mean “bless your heart,” but it’s a safer bet that it means “that person’s weird,” or “you’re an idiot,” or “I don’t like you.” Or, it’s a simple ending to a statement you’ve made about someone that you don’t want to feel bad about.
No one cares about your preferred pronouns. Go ahead and tell an old farmer in Oklahoma that you go by “they” pronouns. The look on his face will be worth it.
Man-buns are unacceptable in a professional setting. Or any setting.
You have to go into buildings without any kind of official warning that something inside there might cause cancer. You will just have to take the chance. Be strong.
The weather cycles from hot to cold and back again on an annual basis. Do not be alarmed. These are called “seasons.”
You might have to make your own choices and take responsibility for your actions without the government taking care of you. This is the most difficult adjustment for Californians to make when they move to America, but with time, prayer (also acceptable in red states), and willpower, you can do it!
Those are just a few of the many adjustments ex-Californians will have to make. If you’ve thought of any others, please leave them in the comments below to help these poor communists to enjoy capitalism away from their homeland.
California weather is basically perfect.
If a non-food item states that California has determined that it causes cancer, you can still use it, just don’t eat it.
If you do move to Texas or Florida you will also notice there aren’t as many deductions from your paycheck. We have no state income taxes. Property taxes, yes, but that’s another story!
For California drivers, Keep Right Except to Pass. The left lane is for passing and you are not the Keeper Of The Speed.
There is no state that has better weather than California. Too bad commies run this state!
Conservatives let them take it.
You never fight
Weather is either 1) perfect or 2) fire
You left Kalifornica for a reason. That reason is ya’ll vote Rat all the time. When you move to America, that is wrong. Stop it. If you cannot stop it, go back to Kalifornica where you belong.
California has determined that literally everything causes cancer so they should just simplify the labels and have them all say “Everything Causes Cancer.”
BTW, the labels cause cancer, like everything else.
Yes I was about to post the same. I’ve lived in CA for 30 years now, and the weather WAS always perfect until about 3 years ago and now we have the ugliest FIRE season which means at best no more blue sky and just a solid cloud of smoke instead, at worst eerie orange skies and ash and blocking out the sun and heat and unbreathable choking air. And this from August until Nov.
They are coming to north Alabama. Help. Come get the. No closed season and no bag limit.
Death Metal: a Californian who is driving in snow.
“There is no state that has better weather than California. Too bad commies run this state!”
Hawaii 🤪
“There is no state that has better weather than California.”
Go on up to Arcata and tell us that after 4 months of steady rain.
bonus hint - outside of calio, OMG! is not an acceptable outburst from anyone over the age of 13. Even then you may be slapped for it by a parent or relative.
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