Posted on 06/18/2022 12:43:13 AM PDT by John Semmens
Jane's Revenge, a terrorist group responsible for firebombing dozens of pro-life pregnancy centers, announced "the expiration of our 30 days of mercy toward these enemies of women's rights to terminate their unwanted offspring. We gave you a respite from attack so you could shutdown your false efforts to persuade women that you offer a humane alternative to abortion. That's a lie. Abortion is the only humane alternative. Bringing more children into the world only exposes them to pain. The crushing burden of unneeded lives endangers the survival of the planet. We promise to take increasingly drastic measures against the oppressive propagation of more humans."
The group vowed "a relentless and merciless campaign of murder and destruction against any person or organization that refuses to accede to our demands. These demands include the total censorship of all views—printed or oral—favoring any limits on the sacred rite of abortion, the disbanding of any pregnancy services other than abortion, and the dismantling of any women's health centers that do not prescribe abortion as the best and only sure cure for pregnancy. We encourage everyone who shares our views to yield to their urge to assault any pregnant person they see—to pummel, cut, or burn the fetus she carries—to spread fear far and wide until the pestilence known as humanity is exterminated."
President Biden blamed the US Supreme Court "for provoking the righteous wrath of these idealistic young people" and pledged to "take whatever actions are necessary to mitigate the disaster the Court's anti-abortion ruling will unleash."
Those familiar with the President's feelings on the issue predict that "he will have no alternation but to forbid states from enacting any new laws imposing any limits on the availability of abortions within their jurisdictions. Troops are likely to be sent to provide protection for every Planned Parenthood facility in every state. Agents from the FBI will be given orders to shutter every pro-life pregnancy center for their own protection. By doing these things in an orderly and legal fashion he believes he will eliminate the need for Jane's Revenge to have to use violence to achieve their goals."
In contrast, several Republicans have called for the FBI to investigate Jane's Revenge for their admitted firebombings, saying "if mothers raising questions about the curriculum at school board meetings are worthy of FBI investigation as domestic terrorists, then people who commit arson against these pro-life pregnancy centers ought to be investigated."
While the FBI issued a public statement saying it would look into the matter, Justice Department Civil rights division chief Kristen Clarke called the pro-life centers, which counsel pregnant women on alternatives to abortion, "harmful and predatory against women of color. Without the Roe v. Wade ruling in 1973 black women wouldn't have been able to so easily abort the 19 million babies they got rid of since then. The current Court's reversal of that 1973 ruling would be a crime."
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla) was appalled by Clarke's remarks. "Setting a building on fire is a crime. Stalking Justice Kavanaugh with the intention of murdering him is a crime. Legislating from the bench, as the Supreme Court did in the Roe v. Wade decision, was a usurpation that needs to be reversed, not a crime. Clarke shows that she is manifestly unfit for the office she now holds."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/327335-2022-06-18-semi-news-semi-satire-june-19-2022-edition.htm
ping
Proving once again why my tagline is what it is.
Good tag line.
1 cron 16-30 the earth is firmly established. There is nothing humans can do to destroy the earth.
What if Gun Owners reached the same level of destruction at the thought of their rights being taken?
I would hope that gun owners would do better than this at enemy identification.
How does a place or people that offers alternatives to pregnant women threaten the so-called rights of these Jane wackos? I suppose they are certainly making the choice they offer very clear.
“Annie Oakley Revenge”
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