Posted on 01/12/2022 5:15:35 PM PST by DFG
WILLIAMSTOWN, KY—The wildly popular Ark Encounter attraction in Kentucky will soon be joined by a baptismal-themed log flume ride.
The log ride will have guests tossed to and fro by the water rapids of sin before experiencing a 3-story drop into the water so they can be raised to walk in newness of life. Riders will then gently glide by a giant animatronic Ken Ham statue that will fill them in on all the next steps they need to take as new believers.
"Our Ark Encounter is specially designed to offer a full gospel message to everyone who visits the stations in order from beginning to end," said Ham. "If by the end they accept Christ as their own personal Lord and Savior, they will have the opportunity to ride this flume directly into a baptismal tank to seal the deal!"
Designers confirmed that the ride will be a legitimate means of baptism due to riders being fully immersed in water, as the Bible commands. High-speed cameras will use advanced technology to confirm full immersion so that anyone not completely doused will have the opportunity to ride the flume again for a small added fee.
"Our new baptismal flume is only the first step in the continually evolving Ark Encounter,” says Ham. “We have many more rides on the way, such as a haunted house that follows the story of Samuel's ghost being raised by the Witch of Endor. Not for the faint of heart!"
Catholic and Lutheran visitors to the park are reportedly offended that infants aren’t able to enjoy the ride.
I know its the Bee...but...
Afterwards, park attendees can go back to reality, the coming together one world antichrist world, which is being set in place before their very eyes
These guys are such a bunch of kidders! Now, where’s that laugh-filled piece about Medina?
They are poking fun at bells and whistles Christianity, which values church coffees over Biblical truth.
That’s COFFERS, not coffee, idiot spell-check.
And lets not forget the David and Goliath Slingshot ride!
“Wildly popular”?
Sounds like the last episode of the Righteous Gemstones.
OK, that's full Southern Baptist.
You bet it is.
You gotta hand it to the Bee - they poke fun in all directions... I don’t know that I would have typed that article, however. Sorta begging for lightning strikes in a couple of spots...
These BBee guys are the funniest!
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