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Jarring Info from CDC [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 16 May 2021 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/15/2021 11:05:02 AM PDT by John Semmens

This week the Center for Disease Control (CDC) announced that individuals who have been fully vaccinated against COVID need not wear masks or observe social distancing rules. Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky observed that “since the vaccinations provide the best possible defense against COVID, the essentially ineffective masks and social distancing measures are no longer necessary.” Not wanting to get crosswise with other government authorities, Walensky cautioned that “enforcing mask-wearing and social distancing rules is still up to local, state and federal dictates.”

The governors of Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, North Carolina, and Virginia, and the mayors of New York City and Washington, D.C. promised “to assess this new information before taking any hasty actions.” Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-NY) questioned the credibility of the CDC, saying that “they’ve been wrong before. They told us it would take 15 days of lockdowns to flatten the curve, but it took a year of business, mobility, and speech restrictions to get COVID under control. Wasting all of the suffering we’ve endured by a premature restitution of freedom would be tragic.”

A less publicized bit of CDC news was the agency’s admission that “the number of deaths following the administration of COVID vaccines over the past four months exceeds the combined number of deaths following all of the other vaccinations administered for all other diseases over the past twenty years.” Walensky hastened to point out that “while it is reasonable to presume that a person who tests positive for COVID and dies has, in fact, died of COVID, it cannot similarly be assumed that a person who dies shortly after being vaccinated for COVID has died because of the vaccination.”

Not everyone agrees with Walensky’s reasoning. Dr. Ryan Cole, owner and operator of Cole Diagnostics, called the post-vaccination toll “concerning. These so-called vaccines are experimental. They haven’t undergone the normal vetting process for safety and effectiveness before being given to tens of millions of human guinea pigs over the last four months. Individuals should make their own decision on whether to take this experimental substance. There are sound reasons to be reluctant. Government shouldn’t coerce or bribe people to take it.”

Toxicologist Dr. Janci Chunn Lindsay takes an even stronger stance against further mass inoculations for younger persons and has called on the U.S. government to halt COVID-19 vaccine distribution. “There are serious safety concerns that need to be considered,” she said. “The vaccines could hinder production of syncytin, a crucial protein for fertility and pregnancy, and negatively impact pregnancy outcomes as a result. Since the unvaccinated in this population cohort face a vanishingly small risk of serious health consequences from COVID they should not submit to being vaccinated.”

Dr. Anthony Fauci labeled these concerns “fear mongering of the worst sort” and tried to differentiate it from “the socially responsible fear mongering I and others have employed to help defeat the virus over the past year. Getting millions to hunker down in their homes, shun all unnecessary human contact, close their businesses, quit their jobs, wear masks, and tattle on nonconformists were harmless cudgels to guide individuals to adopt behaviors that protected everyone. Now is not the time to listen to dissident doctors. If we keep the faith we will emerge into a truly caring society where all march to the same tune and share the same destiny.”

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2021/05/15/jarring-info-from-cdc/


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: covid; fearmongering; hoax; masks; satire; thedreadedcovid; vaccinepassports; vaccines

1 posted on 05/15/2021 11:05:02 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

““while it is reasonable to presume that a person who tests positive for COVID and dies has, in fact, died of COVID, it cannot similarly be assumed that a person who dies shortly after being vaccinated for COVID has died because of the vaccination.””

A fat guy, 75, with diabetes, heart trouble, emphysema and tested positive for COVID, who dies shortly after being hit by a bus, it is reasonable to presume that person has, in fact, died of COVID. /s

It cannot similarly be assumed that a person who dies shortly after being vaccinated for COVID hasn’t died because of the vaccination.


2 posted on 05/15/2021 11:39:43 AM PDT by faucetman (Just the facts, ma'am, Just the facts )
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