Posted on 08/16/2020 4:31:13 PM PDT by John Semmens
Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden says "every American should be wearing a mask when they're outside for the next three months at a minimum. It will decrease the risk of getting the coronavirus expodentially. Of course in an ideal world everyone should be staying at home like I am. If you don't go anywhere you can't get infected. Staying home is what we should all do."
"Trump's notion that we should open up the economy is insane," Biden contended. "The federal government has the power to create money. They can just mail everyone a government check. There is no need for anyone to have to risk going to work just to make a living. Pretending that people have to do this as Trump and the Republicans are is simply attempted murder—something my new running mate Kamala Harris has vowed to prosecute once I also name her my Attorney General."
"The best we can hope for in the interim is for the 50 governors to implement statewide mask-wearing for whenever you leave the house," Biden said. "With over 120 million Americans already dead from the coronavirus since February you'd think this simple measure would have already been taken because at the rate we're going I'm afraid that there won't be any people for me to govern by the time I'm inaugurated."
In related news, dentists are reporting a decline in dental health from all the mask wearing people have been doing during the pandemic. "In about 50% of our patients we're seeing inflammation in gums that have been healthy forever, and cavities in people who have never had them before," says Dr. Rob Ramondi, a co-founder of One Manhattan Dental. "Gum disease will eventually lead to an increased risk of strokes and heart attacks."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=411390.0
I’m sure he wants everyone to wear adult diapers, too. I mean, if they’re good enough for him...
You gotta problem with adult diapers means you’re RACISS, because dementia Joe says, “ you don’t vote for me, you ain’t black.”
No sane non RACISS person could argue with that.
The professional fool pal Joey speaks from his basement.
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