Skip to comments.Competing Climate Change Approaches [semi-satire]
Posted on 02/18/2020 9:19:03 AM PST by John Semmens
Two radically different approaches for how to mitigate the potential negative impacts of climate change have been advanced recently. On the left we have The Ahuman Manifestoa tract authored by Patricia MacCormack, a professor of continental philosophy at Anglia Ruskin University in the United Kingdom. The Professor argues for human extinction as the best solution to the perils of climate change.
"My interest in feminism and queer theory led me by a process of logical deduction to the conclusion that the human race must be exterminated in order to save the planet for other species," she said. "Humankind is currently enslaved by capitalism. Killing people frees them from this slavery. Hitler, Stalin, and Mao were on the right track. By murdering millions they bravely paved the way for my theory to evolve. Many people are surprised by my book's joyful and radical compassion for living creatures."
On the right, we have Republicans in the House of Representatives introducing legislation giving tax-incentives for planting trees. Rep. Garret Graves (LA) called this legislation "a fact-based, realistic approach. Instead of wrecking our economy and generating more poverty and suffering by penalizing energy production, why not offset carbon emissions by feeding them to trees? Trees absorb CO2 and turn it into wood. This wood can be used to build housing, furniture, and other long-lasting implements that are beautiful and useful. In the process we also get more forests."
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) harshly criticized the bill, saying "it does nothing about the most severe threat to the climate: Donald Trump. Rather than directly face this threat, Republicans are trying to push painless solutions to averting climate catastrophe. I say, 'no pain, no gain.' People must be taught a lesson. In this regard, I think Professor MacCormack's approach is closer to what I believe the ultimate answer to climate change will have to be."
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