Posted on 01/18/2020 8:50:54 AM PST by John Semmens
In a show of unity with President Trump's critics, the government of Iran took steps to ease the tensions initiated by his callous assassination of the world's foremost terrorist. The first of these steps entailed the arrest of the person who filmed their missile downing the Ukrainian passenger plane.
Democratic presidential contender South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg praised "this positive step toward peace. The existence of this video only served to disparage the intentions and competence of the Iranian regime. While the arrest can't undo the damage done by this video it can send a message dissuading others from releasing information without prior approval. If all sides followed this lead I think we'd be on the road to a more viable long-term relationship between Iran and its detractors."
The second tension-easing step taken by Iran was to threaten European nations "against criticizing the infallible words and deeds of Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. His authority comes from Allah. All who reject it are unbelievers worthy of death. We warn the Europeans not to cast their lot with unbelievers like Trump lest they also be utterly destroyed by the irresistible might of Allah's warriors."
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau immediately fired off a message of submission. "We renounce the crimes of the Great Satan against your country," he pledged. "The actions of General Soleimani were within the accepted parameters of lawful jihad against the unbelievers. Trump's interruption of his important work was a provocation warranting a terrible revenge. I beseech you to spare my country. As neighbors of the United States, I believe we have already suffered enough from the humiliation of being inferior to our cross-border tormentors. I urge you not to overlook the potential strategic advantages of allying with us and utilizing our shared border with America as a means of infiltrating and punishing your eternal enemy."
In related news, Democrats in the House voted down a resolution of support for Iranians demonstrating against the tyrannical regime. Proposed by Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif), the resolution condemns Iran for killing over 1,000 Iranian citizens who were protesting their government, condemns the Government of Iran for shooting down Ukraine International Airlines Flight 752, condemns the Government of Iran for repeatedly lying to its people and to the world about its responsibility for the downing of this passenger aircraft, and calls on the Government of Iran to refrain from the use of violence, and protect the rights of freedom of expression and peaceful assembly.
Speaker Pelosi called the resolution "a disgraceful diversion from our patriotic duty to remove President Trump from office. Trump is the one who escalated the tensions with Iran and is now egging their people on to agitate against their government rather than instructing them to obey the government's rule over them. This is yet another example of his abuse of power and obstruction of Congress."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/275150-2020-01-17-semi-news-semi-satire-january-19-2019-editionby-john-semmens.htm
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