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Biden Says Study Vindicates His Ukraine Extortion [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 Oct 2019 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/11/2019 9:28:56 PM PDT by John Semmens

A study conducted by OpenTheBooks.com showed that the practice of politicians trading favors for cash is common. The case study involved eight members of Congress: Republicans Tom Cole, Kristi Noem, Erik Paulsen, and Cathy McMorris Rodgers and Democrats John B. Larsen, Jim Cooper, Debbie Dingell, and Brenda Lawrence.

The study found a repeated pattern in which members of Congress own investment stock in, are employed by, and receive retirement pensions from federal contractors to whom billions of taxpayer dollars flow. Members sponsor or oppose legislation that affects these contractors. Then, the contractor's lobbyists advocate for or against the legislation to help the contractor. Oftentimes, the contractor's lobbyist also donates campaign cash to the member.

Perhaps the most shocking aspect of this abuse of office is that it is not illegal. It is this last finding that former Vice-President Joe Biden heralded as "proof that I've done nothing wrong. The travesty is that the salaries allotted to those of us in government are abysmally low. Corporate executives are paid millions to run private businesses. We ought to be similarly paid, but could never garner much support for higher salaries. Allowing ourselves to make money on the side has been the way to right this injustice. Using my influence in Ukraine to help my son doesn't make me a crook. It makes me a good dad."

In related news, Biden slammed the New York Times for running an op ed by Peter Schweizer, author of Clinton Cash. "Here is a guy trying to profit by attacking the legal influence peddling of great Americans like the former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and me, the former Vice-President of President Barack Obama. We're at war for the soul of this country. The Times shouldn't be giving aid and comfort to our enemies. They need to stay in the ranks and use the power they have to help us win back the White House and Congress."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/269791-2019-10-11-semi-news-semi-satire-october-13-2019-edition.htm


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: biden; corruption; politicians; satire

1 posted on 10/11/2019 9:28:56 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 10/11/2019 9:29:47 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

‘zactly !

not even close to being semi-satire


3 posted on 10/11/2019 9:43:03 PM PDT by A strike (Import third world become third world)
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To: John Semmens

The old “Of course we’re corrupt!” defense.


4 posted on 10/11/2019 10:31:38 PM PDT by TChad
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To: John Semmens

And this is the jack-wagon that Barack 0bama chose as his backup quarterback?


5 posted on 10/11/2019 11:10:09 PM PDT by Honest Nigerian
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To: John Semmens

Joe thinks he is vindicated, so I’m assuming he thinks that is what makes it right.


6 posted on 10/12/2019 7:22:45 AM PDT by oldtech
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To: A strike; John Semmens

I can’t find any articles with the source for this satire.


7 posted on 10/12/2019 2:00:50 PM PDT by ding_dong_daddy_from_dumas
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