Skip to comments.Comey Demands Apology [semi-satire]
Posted on 08/31/2019 10:02:33 AM PDT by John Semmens
Fired FBI Director James Comey demanded an apology after an Inspector General's report failed to recommend charges be filed against him for illegally leaking confidential FBI memos to the media. While President Trump tweeted that "Comey was thoroughly disgraced by the IG's report," Comey maintains that "I was exonerated. I was also pleased to see that the 'Comey precedent' that was established when I exonerated Hillary Clinton for her careless handling of classified material guided the Department of Justice decision to not press charges against me."
"In a truly just world, I would, like former Secretary of State Clinton, now receive the covert assistance of the FBI, CIA and Department of Justice in an effort to help me win the 2020 presidential election," Comey opined. "If the intelligence community could go so far out of its way to try to elect an outsider like Clinton, they ought be full-throttle in support of one of their own."
Comey denied that his dream of covert intelligence community support for him to be president was unrealistic, pointing out that "Putin was a KGB operative before he became president of Russia. I would think that it should be obvious that not having an experienced member of the intelligence community at the top puts the United States at a distinct disadvantage compared to our chief geopolitical rivals. Overcoming this disadvantage should be our top strategic objective at this point in history."
In related news, it appears that Clinton's careless handling of classified emails resulted in "blind ccs" of 30,000 messages being forwarded to "firstname.lastname@example.org." Carter Heavy Industries is a company operating in China. A spokesperson for Sec. Clinton speaking "off-the-record" explained that "this automatic forwarding of the Secretary of State's emails was part of the Obama Administration's efforts to build a stronger alliance with the Chinese government. Those who want to characterize it as illegitimate are overlooking the fact that it was done with the full knowledge and consent of President Obama."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
I don’t think they are finished with you yet
“Those who want to characterize it as illegitimate are overlooking the fact that it was done with the full knowledge and consent of President Obama.”
Best line of the piece !
I like John Kennedy’s comment about him this morning saying Comey could strut while sitting down.
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