Posted on 08/10/2019 2:24:00 PM PDT by John Semmens
On the campaign trail this week the struggle for the Democratic presidential nomination continued to generate loony ideas.
New Jersey Sen Cory Booker’s campaign director for New Hampshire, Erin Turmelle, demanded an end to Trump rallies, calling them “a breeding ground for racism and bigotry. They are despicable and have no place in New Hampshire, or anywhere in our country. That’s why Trump must cancel all future rallies.” She rejected criticism calling the demand a violation of Trump’s freedom of speech, saying that “there is no freedom for hate speech” and suggested that Trump “campaign like a normal Republican candidate. He could learn a lot about decorum from the model presidential campaigns waged by Sen. McCain and former Massachusetts Gov. Romney.”
Former Texas Rep. Beto O’Rourke canceled a previously planned campaign trip to Iowa and is headed to Mexico “because there are more f***ing votes there than there are in Iowa. I’ll be meeting with Chihuahua Governor Javier Corral Jurado and Ciudad Juárez Mayor Armando Cabada to discuss ways to get more voters across the border before the 2020 election. It’s the best way to ensure that the murderous bastard Trump is defeated.”
Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders promised to institute food rationing if he is elected president, claiming it “will serve the dual purposes of fighting obesity and saving the environment.” The Senator laughed at charges that his plan will lead to shortages. “Shortages are a feature, not a defect of my plan. It is only by controlling food intake that we can assure that every American has a healthy diet. Lower food consumption will allow more farmland to revert back to a natural state. That will help the environment. Making people wait in line to receive their food allotment will help keep them from making trouble. And the shared suffering will unite the country under a regime of greater equality. I say if Venezuela can do it so can we.”
Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren called President Trump “a white supremacist who has done everything in his power to stir up racial conflict and hatred in this country. After two of his followers massacred dozens in El Paso and Dayton last weekend he failed to admit guilt. Instead, he tried to place the blame on the shooters, calling them deranged madmen.” Unfortunately for the Senator’s narrative, the Dayton madman was a registered Democrat who described himself as a leftist and looked forward to voting for Warren and a socialist America.
California Sen. Kamala Harris vowed to send armed men door-to-door to confiscate firearms should she be elected president. “The Second Amendment is out-dated BS,” she asserted. “The days of needing a gun to ward off predatory animals or marauding Indians are long gone. Most of these animals are on the endangered species list and the Indians have been pacified. History has shown that when the only legal guns are in the hands of the government, homicides committed by private citizens go way down. The population is also more docile and the laws are almost universally obeyed. This is the future we can have in America if progressive candidates prevail in 2020.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2019/08/10/castro-defends-doxxing-trump-supporters/
Russia’s fault
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