Posted on 05/22/2018 5:40:11 AM PDT by Duke C.
what was supposed to be a normal flight to the Netherlands turned out to be something else.
You see, this plane left Dubai for Amsterdam Schiphol but had to veer off to Vienna when a case of persistent farting ended up in a fistfight.
Now, this whole problem started when an elderly man started farting. But despite the disapproval from 2 other guys sat beside him, he continued.[snip]But unfortunately, nothing was done to stop the farting. They were sentenced to taking this unhealthy a** gas throughout the duration of the flight.
(Excerpt) Read more at youcantbreakme.co ...
Did the guy shout, “I fart in your general direction?”
Not everyone can say “My farts brought down a plane”.
I think you can still bring a pack of matches on board.
[I used to work with a guy who after a night out could clear out the entire building wing at work.]
Had a guy I worked with do that constantly FROM HIS BURPS.
He’d walk out of the gin mill into work practically. It was like his insides were rotting away. Your eyes would tear from it.
I often grab a magazine…and start fanning.
The Tale of Abu Hasan and the Fart, from 1001 Arabian Nights.
http://www.tomthumb.org/422/the-tale-of-abu-hasan-and-the-fart-1001-nights/
Nobody has matches any more.
“How ‘bout some more beans, Mr. Taggart?”
Oh yes, I've had similar experiences on the Paris Métro. It's really horrible when the train is so crowded that you can't move away from the stench. And to be fair, despite all the hygiene-related jokes that we enjoy, not everyone on the train reeked. Most of the Parisians seem to be nose-blind, though.
I have had a customer in my store come in with his pants and shoes covered with what appeared to be and smelled like horse shit. We surmised he worked at a local horse track. The smell made your eyes water and after he left we sprayed the air with whatever cleaners we had on hand to deaden the smell
I had gas so bad one time driving home from a trip to Arkansas that my fiance had her head out the window and my pregnant future sister-in-law was holding her breath in the back seat and swearing to kill me if I caused brain damage to her child. Fortunately, I figured out what I ate that caused that and stopped eating it unless I was going to be out in the woods away from open flame. Some folks just have hyper-active digestive tracts (inherited mine from my mom). I drank a bunch of apple juice in college once and I had farts that lasted 30 seconds. Could have blown up the apartment complex.
I did that once myself. But, it was three grown men up from a sound sleep. It wasn’t the smell, it was the sheer volume. It was after a night of drinking good German beer. It was in our barracks room, and the walls were made of concrete, so it echoed. I remember being threatened with immediate death, but then the knock came on the door to get up for PT, so that saved me.
1975, Millington, Tenn. USN A-school. All of a sudden, everyone from the center of the classroom jumps up, chairs sliding across the floor. People rushing to open the windows (middle of winter, too). Two guys left sitting at the center of class, smiling away, say “Beer and Pizza last night.”
Nice. But hold my beer, imagine if you will the morning Company Run. Now imagine a certain SSG who the previous evening consumed two quarts of leftover chowhall Chilli-Mac. Shortly after launch the cadence driven cohesion of military discipline broke down totally when said SSG, happily leaving an invisible, deadly chemical attack of gut gas in his wake totally destroyed the formation, leaving choking, gasping wrecks of at least two platoons.
Hey, give the “old fart” a break.LoL.
“nothing was done to stop the farting”
Can someone please tell me how to stop farting. While at it, explain how to suppress the urge to pee.
Inquiring bowels & bladders need to know.
nothing was done to stop the farting.
..............
Like what? A cork?
Cabin pressure altitude on commercial airliners is limited to about 8000 feet. And the reduced air pressure causes an increased tendency for gas in the bowels to seek the region of lower pressure.
Military pilots train in a hypobaric “altitude” chamber to simulate a sudden loss of cabin pressure at 25,000 feet. See where I’m going with this? Your worst nightmare is that one of your fellow trainees had chili con carne (y frijoles) for supper on the night before.
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