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Dems Denigrate Tax Cut [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 Jan 2018 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/16/2018 9:33:32 AM PST by John Semmens

The wave of corporations announcing employee bonuses in the wake of the recently passed Tax Cuts & Jobs Act was denigrated by House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) as “pathetic crumbs. These corporations are getting billions in tax cuts, but are only giving out a few thousand to employees.”

While the “few thousand” is a per employee figure, the total being paid out in bonuses is in the billions. So far, over two million employees are set to receive a bonus averaging up to $3,000 per worker. On top of these bonuses there will also be individual tax cuts. H & R Block estimates that single taxpayers earning $40,000 per year would get to keep an additional $1,000 under the new law. Families earning $70,000 would keep an added $4,000.

“These piddling amounts won’t improve the lives of the average American as much as we could’ve done if the government continued to take and spend the money for the greater good of all,” Pelosi contended. “Funds that selfish individuals will fritter away on gadgets, vacations, or other frivolous spending could’ve been used to support the rescue of more Middle East refugees, free abortions for all, or any number of other worthy causes at the discretion of Congress.”

“Catering to crass greed, as this totally GOP legislation has done, insults the patriotism and collective solidarity of Americans,” she continued. “By shoving this money back in the pockets of the working class we are denying them the right and opportunity to participate in something greater than themselves. It is my belief that the loss of this opportunity will come back to hit the Republicans hard in the mid-term elections this November and in 2020 when our country’s worst president is voted out of office, if he lasts that long.”

Fellow warrior for progressive government Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass) urged her state’s voters “to not be misled by the personal benefits of the tax cuts. Yes, some of you will get bonuses. Almost all of you will get a tax cut, and everyone will see lower electric rates as a result of this law. But remember, this narrowly focused law has nothing in it for those who choose not to work, pay no taxes, and refrain from consuming electricity from the polluting power companies. Democrats are the only ones voters can count on to defend our traditional way of life.”

Massachusetts power companies aren’t the only ones planning on lowering rates because of the corporate tax cut. So far a half dozen companies—Pepco, Delmarva, Baltimore Gas & Electric, Pacific Power, Rocky Mountain Power, and Commonwealth Edison—are asking for permission to lower electricity rates. More are expected to follow suit. Widespread lower electricity costs will complicate Democrat efforts to rally voters to their anti-tax cut cause.

Meanwhile, New York, Governor Andrew Cuomo (D) has decided he should “redirect the state’s public employees’ pension fund investments to make a better world. We’re sitting on billions of dollars that currently are invested in the stocks of companies engaged in businesses that are out-of-step with the progressive agenda. We have the power to use this money to reward companies that are in step. We owe it to the future of our children and the planet to use this power.” The Suffolk County Association of Municipal Employees issued a report that predicts the Public Employees’ Common Retirement Fund would lose $2.8 billion over the next 20 years if the Governor has his way.

In an alternative approach to revitalizing the economy and attaining social justice, the State of California has decided to offer financial aid to aspiring marijuana entrepreneurs. Preference will be given to minority applicants who have prison records. Greg Minor, Assistant to the City Administrator – Special Permits and Nuisance Abatement, explained that “it makes sense to prioritize who gets the aid. Guys who have been incarcerated for trafficking in drugs know the product, know how to market it, and strike me as more likely to succeed. In addition, these ex-cons have paid their debt to society. Letting them go to the head of the line helps society pay its debt for the wrongs it has inflicted on these people.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrats; satire; taxes; trump

1 posted on 01/16/2018 9:33:32 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Dems Denigrate Tax Cut

Like PT Barnum said...There’s an asshole born every minute.

2 posted on 01/16/2018 9:44:21 AM PST by GoldenPup
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