NYC Mayor Taunts ISIS [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 Nov 2017 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Emboldened by his reelection with 70% of the vote, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio brazenly mocked Islamic terrorists calling the recent attack that killed eight people "feeble. There are more than eight million New Yorkers. It would take more than million attacks of the magnitude of that launched by Mr. Saipov to kill us all. Besides, five of the eight he killed were Argentinians—not New Yorkers, per se."

"New Yorkers are resilient," the Mayor continued. "Common criminals murder 300 people a year in our city, but our citizens don't quake in fear because they know their government is safe from murderous assault. I have bodyguards with me 24/7. So no matter how many ordinary inhabitants terrorists may succeed in killing my reign will go on."

In related news, the US Army is pondering whether to pay convicted deserter Pvt. Bowe Bergdahl $300,000 in back pay now that a judge has decided against sending him to prison. Army spokesman Col. Walter Wussier explained "if he were going to prison he wouldn't need the money, but as a convicted traitor it will be hard for him to find a good job. A generous severance package would help him attain a decent lifestyle on the outside."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,290534.0.html

[heterosupremacist]

Bill de Blasio (A.K.A. Warren Wilhelm Jr.) won 70% of the Mayoral Votes? He should have 70% of the voters commit him to a Life Sentence of Psychiatric Care in State Run Mental Asylum! brainboggle ping...