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Mueller Expands Staff [fake satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 June 2017 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/17/2017 12:52:30 AM PDT by John Semmens

In the wake of former FBI Director James Comey's admission that there is no evidence of collusion between Trump and the Russians to rig last year's presidential election, independent counsel Robert Mueller has initiated a major expansion of his staff.

"Inasmuch as it is inconceivable that a person as qualified as Secretary Clinton could be beaten by a boorish amateur like Donald Trump in a fair contest, there has to have been some sort of underhanded manipulation involved," Mueller reasoned. "My good friend James Comey valiantly tried to soldier on before he was improperly dismissed by his obviously guilty target. Clearly, this calls for ramping up the effort to generate actionable charges against an illegitimate usurper."

Thus far, Mueller has added 13 new attorneys—all with notable ties to the Democratic Party—to his prosecuting team. "One of the things that I think hampered Jim's effort was his reliance on the politically unvetted staff of career FBI personnel," Mueller opined. "It's likely that some of those personnel harbored secret sympathy with Trump and the Republican Party. I can see how that would have impeded the investigation. My recruitment of a staff that has a unified worldview ensures that everyone will be coming at this from the same direction."

Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) warned Republicans against questioning Mueller's actions or integrity. "Rather than assail the political affiliations of the most qualified lawyers in the country Republicans ought to be asking themselves why those at the top of the profession are all Democrats," Schumer advised. "Why should the Independent Counsel have to bypass the best in a vain attempt to simulate a balanced or unbiased image?"

One Republican who is not heeding Schumer's warning is President Trump who labeled Mueller's actions "the single greatest WITCH HUNT in American political history" and suggested that Mueller's long personal relationship with Comey and his connections to the Democratic Party manifest a "conflict of interest."

The language of the special counsel statute would seem to require Mueller to recuse himself from serving. According to the statute, a person cannot serve as a special counsel if he has "a personal relationship with any person substantially involved in the investigation or prosecution." Mueller's long-term personal relationship with the "substantially involved" Comey appears disqualifying.

Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif) insisted that "Mueller's friendship toward Comey shouldn't be used against him. If anything, it should reinforce our confidence that the two of them could work together in a common cause. Let us not forget that it was Comey's leak of a memo he wrote that got the ball rolling on the whole special counsel thing. Removing Mueller and bringing in some stranger would jettison the symbiotic benefits of allowing a proven partnership to continue this vital persecution."

Schiff went on to add that "Trump may think that as president he can control who works for the executive branch, but previous presidents who tried to act on that premise were impeached. In 1868, President Andrew Johnson was impeached for firing a cabinet member without consulting congress. In 1974, President Nixon only escaped impeachment by resigning after he fired special prosecutor Archibald Cox. Trump may think that because there is no evidence of any illegal collusion between his campaign and the Russians that further investigation would be fruitless, but he is wrong. Bush adviser Scooter Libby committed no initial crime, but his inconsistent answers under interrogation obstructed the investigation and sent him to prison."

In related news, Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt) demanded that Trump desist from using social media while he is under investigation, contending that "his 'tweets' are akin to 'jury-tampering.' The 'jury' in the case of Trump is going to be the US Senate after the House impeaches him. Allowing Trump to attempt to influence Senators by tweeting to their constituents would poison the jury pool. Senators need to be free from outside influences so we can vote to remove him from office without fear of political repercussions."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/219948-2017-06-17-semi-news-semi-satire-june-18-2017-edition.htm


TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Government; History; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrats; impeachment; satire; trump

1 posted on 06/17/2017 12:52:30 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 06/17/2017 12:53:20 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

The amusing thing is that in 6 to 12 months....Trump will have to appoint an individual prosecutor to investigate the Mueller investigation team.


3 posted on 06/17/2017 1:13:44 AM PDT by pepsionice
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To: John Semmens

It practically writes itself. You don’t need to be a satirist in this case, where the President is being investigated for the firing of the FBI director by the person who insisted he fire the FBI director. It can’t get any more satirical than that!

Still, good work as always John!


4 posted on 06/17/2017 1:37:17 AM PDT by monkeyshine
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To: John Semmens

Expect Mueller to add Hillary to his legal team next week. She has Watergate experience, doncha know.


5 posted on 06/17/2017 3:37:14 AM PDT by kaboom
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To: pepsionice
That's BRILLIANT!!! He should immediately appoint an oversight staff with unquestioned loyalty to him to observe every move they make. Nobody could stop it, and liberals would go ballistic.

He could claim that this investigation is so important that it just cannot take place in the dark, and needs sunshine on it to prevent it from going off the rails. I love it.

6 posted on 06/17/2017 4:36:43 AM PDT by Hardastarboard (Three most annoying words on the internet - "Watch the Video")
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To: John Semmens

Mueller needs to be fired. The Russians are laughing their asses off at us.


7 posted on 06/17/2017 4:40:19 AM PDT by GoldenPup
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To: Hardastarboard; pepsionice
BRILLIANT PEPSIONICE MOVE: Trump should immediately appoint an oversight staff with unquestioned loyalty to him to observe every move Mueller's people make. Nobody could stop it, and liberals would go ballistic.

Driving liberals ballistic....that's the fun part. Let's be very sure there are enough strait jackets and padded cells to handle all the deranged liberals before we proceed (smirk).

Trump could claim that Muller's investigation is so important that it just cannot take place in the dark. It needs the disinfectant of sunshine to prevent it from going off the rails.

Also throw in a couple liberal petards.....diversity, civil rights, for the children......and so on.

8 posted on 06/17/2017 5:39:41 AM PDT by Liz ( Liberalism: standing on your head, then telling the world that it's upside down.)
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To: All

The latest buzz is Mueller is hiring every lawyer Doanld ever bested in a business deal.

Mueller just wants to amp up the probe’s level of hatred, spitefulness and vituprativeness.


9 posted on 06/17/2017 5:44:42 AM PDT by Liz ( Liberalism: standing on your head, then telling the world that it's upside down.)
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To: John Semmens

Surprised Mueller/Rosenstein/Comey (the Trio of Weasels) haven’t announced that Eric Holder will be joining their Democrat-stacked staff.


10 posted on 06/17/2017 6:17:05 AM PDT by txrefugee
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To: GoldenPup; All

Mueller needs to be fired. The Russians are laughing their asses off at us


Putin offered Comey political asylum. It was the least he could do....


11 posted on 06/17/2017 6:51:38 AM PDT by marktwain (President Trump and his supporters are the Resistance. His opponents are the Reactionaries.)
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To: John Semmens

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12 posted on 06/17/2017 2:23:04 PM PDT by Mark (Celebrities... is there anything they do not know? -Homer Simpson)
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