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Obama Orders Review of Election Interference [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Dec 2016 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/11/2016 10:01:44 AM PST by John Semmens

President Obama ordered federal intelligence agencies to prepare a report on Russian cyber attacks that interfered with the 2016 election outcome and deliver it to him before January 20, 2017, “so I may take whatever action is required to restore integrity to the democratic process.”

Homeland security adviser Lisa Monaco called the investigation “crucial to the president’s decision on whether he may need to vacate the reported outcome. Rather than let the country to be locked-into accepting a new president illegitimately installed by the dirty tricks of a foreign government, the president needs the information necessary to support his continuation in office until a fair election process can determine a successor.”

“A concomitant concern is what sort of counterattack we may need to launch against the Russians for what would clearly be an act of war on their part,” Monaco added. “Putin may think his operatives have been clever enough to not have left a trace of a clue confirming their hostile intervention, but if, in the judgment of our experts, the conclusion is firm that the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, the President is determined to strike back.”

Monaco insisted that “Trump’s assertion that the idea that Russia was involved and that thoughts of retaliation against them are ‘crazy ideas,’ heightens our suspicion that he may have been an active participant in their nefarious scheme to rig the outcome. His pre-election day contention that the process was rigged may have been a Freudian slip that tends to confirm to his complicity.”

Expenditures by the Trump and Clinton campaigns were also cited as “a virtual smoking gun” by Monaco. “In the end, Clinton outspent Trump by $565 million to $322 million. This plus the almost unanimous support from media outlets for Secretary Clinton argue that Trump’s apparent win must be regarded as highly improbable. Thankfully, President Obama is taking the unprecedented measures needed to protect the nation.”

In related news, recently defeated presidential candidate Hillary Clinton publicly urged Congress “to take steps to stamp out the epidemic of malicious fake news before it destroys the country. A deluge of false stories and outright lies enabled an unfit poser to eke out an apparent Electoral College majority over many say was the most qualified person to ever seek the presidency. Though efforts are currently underway to avert this travesty, it is also imperative that laws be changed to ensure that news be properly vetted by recognized and qualified journalists before it can be released to the public on any media platform.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2016/12/10/france-censors-anti-abortion-advocates/


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Government; Politics; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: clinton; russia; satire; trump

1 posted on 12/11/2016 10:01:44 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

The Dems just can’t understand why Hillary lost. They stuffed ballot boxes, voted for the dead, registered their pets to vote absentee, sued to get voter ID laws overturned, and registered millions of illegal aliens to vote and STILL lost!


2 posted on 12/11/2016 10:04:42 AM PST by Blood of Tyrants (Conservatives love America for what it is. Liberals hate America for the same reason.)
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To: Blood of Tyrants

Clearly ....the Hillary/DNC cabal setup this “Russian hacker” beforehand, as insurance if Hillary Lost.

THE CLUES ARE EVERYWHERE: Remember, the DNC’s finance hack showed them guilty of pay-to-play schemes that awarded influential donors.

The “Russian hacker” stupidity musta borne full fruit as Whatssername’s preference for Hillary emerged; she got forced out.

So Hillary/DNC found out if Russia was interfering in US elections, that could get crooked Hillary in.

SO HOW STUPID ARE THEY? DNC officials discovered their email system had been compromised. Yet, instead of taking cautionary steps to prevent future hacks, they sent out new passwords to the team - via email.

ROTFLOL.


3 posted on 12/11/2016 10:14:23 AM PST by Liz
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To: John Semmens
You need to write a satire piece about Clinton not being able to win the election like she expected because the Silent Majority actually turned out to vote this time and in such large numbers that even with the usual voter fraud, like the dead voting and illegal aliens voting, it wasn't enough to put her over the top.

Oh, wait!

Never mind.

4 posted on 12/11/2016 10:14:53 AM PST by philman_36 (Pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty and supped with infamy. Benjamiin Franklin)
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To: John Semmens

Trump will order a review of the review. The CIA is attempting to interfere with the running of his presidency.


5 posted on 12/11/2016 10:18:41 AM PST by Defiant (The media is the colostomy bag where truth goes after democrats digest it.)
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To: Defiant

need to drain the CIA swamp also..... to many obamamites slithering around there.


6 posted on 12/11/2016 10:27:21 AM PST by DOC44 (Have gun will travel.)
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To: John Semmens

This is because the recounts were a fiasco and wound up proving that democrats lost, and cheated.
This is to keep the fantasy alive that Trump is an illegitimate president.


7 posted on 12/11/2016 12:22:47 PM PST by I want the USA back (Lying Media: completely irresponsible. Complicit in the destruction of this country.)
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To: DOC44

One of the things I have read is that there is a white hat vs. black hat battle going on in the CIA and FBI. The black hats were trying to engineer a coup of sorts to ensure a HIllary victory. The white hats fought back with the emails and Comey letter. Trump needs to clean house for sure, it will be a tough job for someone to come in and figure out who has been doing what.


8 posted on 12/11/2016 12:46:15 PM PST by Defiant (The media is the colostomy bag where truth goes after democrats digest it.)
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