Prof Debunks Idea that Right-Wingers a Bigger Threat [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 Jan 2016 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Professor Andrew Holt of Florida State College at Jacksonville has challenged the Obama Administration's contention that right-wing extremists pose a greater threat than Islamic terrorists. "If we look at all the casualties resulting from terrorist attacks over the last 15 years, the number of people killed by jihadis outnumber those killed by right-wingers by more than 60 to one," Holt said.

Department of Homeland Security Jeh Johnson brushed off the professor's analysis as "a simplistic body count. Merely adding up the number killed assumes an unwarranted equivalence among those affected. All the victims of Islamic terrorists in the United States were 'soft targets' comprised of relatively unimportant private citizens. In contrast, right-wing extremists are focused on government officials. Even if they don't actually kill them, right-wing agitation that could lead to voters opposing the government pose a much larger existential threat to what we're trying to accomplish."

By way of example, Johnson cited "the tolerable toll of the thousands of US troops that died on the D-Day invasion of Normandy to the incalculably greater catastrophe that would have resulted if right-wingers had prevailed in the 1944 election. Replacing Roosevelt with Dewey would have been a disaster of major magnitude. So, we make no apology for accepting the losses inflicted by jihadis as a reasonable price to pay for focusing our efforts on preventing the overthrow of the Obama Administration by the Romney insurgency in 2012."

In related news, Attorney General Loretta Lynch says she may have to defy a court order to hand over documents to a congressional committee investigating the Fast and Furious gun-walking scandal. "The 30,000 Mexicans estimated to have been killed by these weapons is not a serious threat to our government," Lynch maintained. "Unwarranted prying into the confidential activities of the Administration is. My duty to protect the President from this threat takes priority over my legal obligation to obey a court's order."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2016/01/23/sanders-calls-for-nationalized-health-care/

[dynachrome]

“My duty to protect the President from this threat takes priority over my legal obligation to obey a court’s order.”

Satire? I think not. She probably believes something like that.