Paris Terror Attack Spurs Call for Gun Control [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Nov 2015 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Despite the fact that France has some of the strictest gun-control laws in the world, the massacre of over 100 people in Paris by gun and bomb wielding Islamic terrorists has inspired Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-Ill) to call for more stringent gun-control regulations in America.

“I don’t mean to belittle the grief felt by so many after the tragic events in Paris, but I shudder to think how much worse it would have been if the victims had been armed,” Schakowsky said. “Bullets could have been coming from every direction. Police would have been confused over who were the perpetrators.”

“If a similar attack were to take place in America it is likely that a significant number of intended victims would, due to our lax gun-control laws, be carrying concealed weapons,” Schakowsky lamented. “There would have been complete chaos. Who knows how many may have fallen victim to friendly fire.”

“If we want to be a civilized society we must give up the idea of an individual right of self-defense,” the Congresswoman contended. “We must place our trust in collective-defense even if this means that in a given situation an individual may be helpless in a confrontation with an armed assailant. I don’t think it’s asking too much for our citizens to lay down their lives in pursuit of the goal of a more civilized society.”

In related news, US Secretary of State John Kerry denounced the Paris terror attack as “completely unjustified” and contrasted it with the more “legitimate murder” of the editorial staff of Charlie Hebdo earlier this year. “Killing people at a restaurant and theater was just unfocused violence,” Kerry said. “What is the message? Don’t go out to eat? Don’t attend a concert? Killing the editors at the magazine made more sense. People know what to do to stay safe—don’t mock Islam. President Obama has been urging people to not mock Islam for some time now. So, the victims at Charlie Hebdo can’t say they weren’t warned.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2015/11/20/reid-and-obama-vow-to-block-bill-on-refugee-vetting/

[FlingWingFlyer]

I’ve been going to the range a lot more frequently these days. I’ve got a pretty good handle on my gun control.

[dp0622]

Why do states have to follow federal law regarding gay marriage and abortion, but the 2nd AMENDMENT can be taken away by a state?

I guess we’re a republic when it fits. But I’m pretty sure even in a republic the constitution has to be followed.

I could be wrong

[Cold Heart]

Sorry, not satire. There is a post shortly after this one, Europe & Firearms.

[Mollypitcher1]

I shudder to think how much worse it would have been if the victims had been armed,
...............................................

The absolute EPITOME of STUPIDITY! You can’t be deader than dead!

[maxwellsmart_agent]

Rep Jan Schakowsky is just a typical democrat and is only mouthing the democrat mantra. They all believe that if someone attacks you with a gun, you are better off if you have no means to protect yourself or to fight back with. That’s silly, but they’re just democrats.