Candidate Seeks to Regain Senate Seat with Promise of Higher Taxes [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 Nov 2015 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Convinced that Americans are grossly under taxed, former Wisconsin Senator Russ Feingold is on a crusade to regain the seat he lost to current Republican Senator Ron Johnson in 2010.

"The evidence is overwhelming," Feingold asserted. "Americans are suffering from a surfeit of income that they are squandering on purchases that are detrimental to their well-being. They are over-eating and over-drinking. They are living in single-family homes when they should be living in high-density apartments. They are driving cars when they should be riding public transit. The list of obnoxious and self-indulgent expenditures is lengthy and nauseating."

Feingold touted his credentials as a tax-hiker during his 18-year tenure in the US Senate from 1993 to 2011 as proof he is the man to help Americans break their spending habits. "In the years I represented Wisconsin in the Senate I voted for higher taxes on nearly 300 separate occasions," the ex-senator bragged. "Since Johnson took over he has been largely an enabler of private selfishness--resisting numerous efforts by the President and the Democratic Party to relieve taxpayers from the temptations of excessive wealth."

According to Feingold, the need to oust Johnson in 2016 is made more urgent by his support for a Constitutional amendment that would require a two-thirds majority before tax increases could be enacted. "This is the exact opposite of what we should be doing," Feingold insisted. "We need to get beyond the simplistic notion that the money a person earns is his to do with as he pleases. All income, all wealth ought to be the common property of all. Government, as the representative of all ought to control how money is spent. If I am elected this is what I'll strive to do."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2015/11/07/hillary-boasts-i-am-unstoppable/

[Old Retired Army Guy]

I hope comments like this remind the people of Wisconsin what a Whacko Feingold is. There is a reason they voted him out in 2010. I hope their memories aren’t too short.