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Pelosi Claims Pope Sides with Democrats [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 Oct 2015 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/25/2015 7:58:53 AM PDT by John Semmens

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) denounced renewed GOP efforts to defund Planned Parenthood and claimed to have Pope Francis on her side.

“Pope Francis urged that political leaders shun dogmatic rigidity and make pragmatic compromises for the good of the whole,” Pelosi contended. The “compromise” she suggested the Pope would support would be “to allow women to preserve their health by accessing the services of organizations like Planned Parenthood and to pursue the Catholic reverence for innocent life by sustaining those who cannot support themselves.”

“If you pay attention to what Jesus actually said, you’ll find numerous mention of the need to care for the poor,” Pelosi observed. “You won’t find a single word denouncing abortion. The fact is, we don’t have any documentation of God’s opposition to this medical procedure. The GOP’s attempt to insinuate some sort of anti-abortion commandment into Christian theology is pure fabrication.”

Pelosi also said “the hysteria over videos exposing the sale of aborted fetus tissue is blind to the important role these tissues can play in extending and improving the lives of those afflicted by serious medical conditions. Is ending the life of an unwanted child really too high a price to pay for extending the life or easing the suffering of those we love? I’m confident the Pope would say no.”

In related news, Planned Parenthood spokesperson Sari Stevens maintained that “the refusal of the major media outlets to cover the Center for Medical Progress videos vindicates our contention that these videos are an unreliable source of information on a very complex topic. Rather than being given an opportunity to confront our accusers, Planned Parenthood employees were ambushed by undercover operatives covertly taping private conversations. The media’s rejection of this so-called evidence validates its illegitimacy.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2015/10/23/clinton-blames-stevens-for-own-death/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: abortion; democrats; pope; satire

1 posted on 10/25/2015 7:58:53 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
"“If you pay attention to what Jesus actually said, you’ll find numerous mention of the need to care for the poor,” Pelosi observed."

Right Pelosi, but you never heard Jesus advocate killing the poor.

2 posted on 10/25/2015 9:05:37 AM PDT by ex-snook
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To: ex-snook

Can Pelosi, or anyone for that matter, show me ONE scripture where Jesus gave money to a poor person? How about ONE scripture where Jesus told Caesar to take care of the poor? Just one. (Crickets).


3 posted on 10/25/2015 9:24:29 AM PDT by Auntie Dem (Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! Terrorist lovers gotta go!)
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To: Auntie Dem

Pelosi and her ilk think they can be “more” than Jesus by doing/providing what He (in their minds) failed to do.


4 posted on 10/25/2015 9:37:44 AM PDT by Roman_War_Criminal
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