Skip to comments.Germany Struggles to Make Immigrants Feel Welcome [semi-satire]
Posted on 10/18/2015 10:21:44 AM PDT by John Semmens
Germany is taking some extraordinary steps to try to accommodate an estimated 1.5 million Muslim immigrants that will enter the country this year.
In a number of locations German students have been assigned to perform domestic choresincluding doing laundry, preparing meals and cleaning up after the immigrants. These tasks have been made more arduous and risky by the obnoxious behavior of some of the beneficiaries, which includes throwing their trash out the windows of the apartments provided for them and raping the females entering the premises to clean.
Inhabitants of small towns being inundated by swarms of migrants have been advised by the German government to move if they don't like it. Refugee Coordinator Detlef Placzek waved off any possible objections, blithely asserting that "the decision to welcome these people comes from the highest level. It is every German's duty to obey the decrees ordered by their government."
Twenty migrants have shown their "gratitude" by filing a lawsuit. Abu Sirh, spokesman for the litigants, complained that "the Berlin State Office for Health and Social Affairs has been too slow in delivering the expected bundle of welfare benefits. To make us wait more than a week before receiving what we came so far to get is intolerable. We are Allah's chosen people. It is the kafirs' obligation to serve us."
Sirh blamed the delay in the distribution of benefits for a spate of prostitution among the daughters and wives of some of the migrants. "Without the benefits promised to us, many men have been forced to rent out their daughters and wives to get money to buy cigarettes and other necessities," Sirh charged.
In a bizarre bid to placate these religious fanatics, the German government has lifted the ban on the publication of Hitler's anti-semitic screed Mein Kampf. Spokesman for the Merkel government Heine Douchefangen asked his countrymen "to be more accepting of the culture of the newcomers. This book is a perennial best seller in the places the immigrants come from. Making it available in our book stores will help them feel more at home."
In related news, Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton labeled residents who questioned his decision to invite thousands of Muslim immigrants to the state racists and suggested they should move out. "That terrorists might be hiding with the immigrant community is a risk I'm willing to take," Dayton said. "We can't yank away America's historic 'welcome mat' out of exaggerated fear. The number of Minnesotans who might be harmed is small compared to sustaining the bigger principle of open-borders."
Haha! Once again, hitting the nail on the head.
The good Lord helps those that help themselves ...
Mein Kampf für Muzzies.
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