And a unique way of resolving land disputes too...
Not to mention a first class Navy.
And we put all our vehicles up on blocks.
Posted on 09/03/2015 11:01:35 AM PDT by Reverend Saltine
(SATIRE)
OPERATION JADED HELMET: Operational Modus FROM: Briga-Dear General, “Uncle” Ruthie Fabulous, 102nd GLBT Brigade MEMO:
Guys, gals, and transgendered whatever:
The following instructions are provided to assist you in-country as we benevolently mix and meld undetected with the indigenous people of New Mexico. We are there to earn their hearts and minds and Master the Human Domain, whatever that may mean (truthfully, guys, and whoever, they won’t tell me what it means.)
NOTE: New Mexico is just to the left of Texas, or Tejas. It is not the regular Mexico. Not yet, away.
Operational Modus
1. Never try to strike up a conversation with someone who is not a member of your family. They will kill you. 2. Never try to strike up a conversation with someone wearing a straw hat. He will kick your ass. 3. Never share chicken tacos. It’s contagious when they hand it back to you. 4. If someone is blocking your path in the supermarket aisle---move away, because he will not. 5. Never talk to a police officer or make direct eye contact thereto. He will kill you. 6. Pretend to be interested in their sacred, ritual sports. There are what they call “teams:” the Lobos baseball team, and the Isotopes football team. No, yeah, wait---no, it’s the Lobos football team, and the Isotopes baseball team. Or something. The accepted incantation is: “How bout dose Lobos? How bout dem Isotopes?” 7. Every woman in New Mexico believes she is a psychic, witch, Wiccan, space alien, adopted tribal member, or Shirley MacClaine. Most of them are dangerous. My ex-wife still has my testicles on her mantel piece in a pickle jar. 8. Stay away from fast food. You will contract C-Difficile and die. 9. If you get drunk and roll your SUV and kill a family on their way to church---don’t worry, you’ll be out in a half hour. Everybody always is. 10. If you want to date the local chicks, be sure to say you’re “very liberal,” and love quiet walks on the beach, the truth, Obama, no games, strong women, travel, and paying the woman’s way for EVERYthing, including all those vacations. You’ll score!
Well, okay, then. That’s your basics. Now get out there and have fun, kids! Remember; the Earth-shattering main question and global concern on the mind of EVERY New-Mexican is this: "Red or green?" Red or green chili, that is. Really.
They have awesome salsa. True story.
build that fence around New Mexico!
:p
And a unique way of resolving land disputes too...
Not to mention a first class Navy.
And we put all our vehicles up on blocks.
!
Excellent!
haven’t found it yet
maybe live in a restaurant
counted 5 beggar men in my upper middle neighborhood in the NW
a month ago one
last year: none
i have seen these things, when i went to buy magical incense from the curendera
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