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New AG Seeks to Federalize All Elections [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 June 2015 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/08/2015 3:12:42 PM PDT by John Semmens

Contending that “it is shameful that we allow each state to determine its own qualifications for voters,” Attorney General Loretta Lynch has proposed new rules that would concentrate all authority over elections under the jurisdiction of her US Department of Justice.

“I know that the Constitution gave states the right to run their own elections, but it also gave Congress the right to alter state regulations if it so chooses,” Lynch pointed out. Lynch said she is “especially aggrieved that states get to determine who is and isn’t mentally competent to cast a ballot. By what right does any state presume to deny the right to vote based on a contention that a person is too demented? Does a person lose his civil right to participate in selecting who will govern him just because he can’t understand the issues or his choices? This seems to be a clear violation of the American with Disabilities Act.”

Lynch asserted that “anyone who wants to vote should be allowed to vote. If that person needs help filling out a ballot, well, that’s what we pay social workers for. The legislation I am proposing would permit these trained professionals to assist and, if necessary act as a proxy for those in their care, to cast ballots in any election.”

Whether Lynch’s bill will gain much traction in the Republican-controlled Congress seems dubious. Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC) expressed skepticism that “ensuring the mentally incompetents’ access to the ballot box would improve election outcomes. I think the idea of self-government presumes that voters can act rationally. I don’t think it means that we trust social workers to cast ballots on behalf of those unable to comprehend the process.”

The AG says she doesn’t view Congressional opposition as an insuperable obstacle. “Drafting a bill is merely a courtesy,” Lynch declared. “We’re giving them an opportunity to be part of the process. If they fail to grasp this opportunity the President is prepared to proceed on his own authority as the nation’s Commander-in-Chief.”

In related news, candidate for the 2016 Democratic presidential nomination Hillary Clinton called for “the end of all restrictions on voting. A person should be able to vote whenever and wherever they want. Rules requiring registration, or short time frames when ballots may be cast, or limited locations where ballots may be cast or accumulated lower participation rates. There ought to be a free voter ‘app’ on every cell phone the government hands out.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2015/06/07/new-candidate-for-president-vows-to-complete-metric-conversion/


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrats; satire; votefraud

1 posted on 06/08/2015 3:12:42 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
I know that the Constitution gave states the right to run their own elections, but it also gave Congress the right to alter state regulations if it so chooses,”


And that sums up the Obama administration.

Good job, John.

2 posted on 06/08/2015 3:25:43 PM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

What matters is who counts the votes.

- Josef Stalin


3 posted on 06/08/2015 3:59:31 PM PDT by Fred Hayek (The Democratic Party is now the operational arm of the CPUSA)
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To: John Semmens

Another jackass appointee, who
abides with criminality.


4 posted on 06/08/2015 4:03:26 PM PDT by Terry L Smith
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To: John Semmens

This is from The Onion?

It cannot be real.


5 posted on 06/08/2015 4:34:34 PM PDT by Captain Jack Aubrey (There's not a moment to lose.)
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To: John Semmens

Voter ID will be part of the plan right?


6 posted on 06/08/2015 5:09:29 PM PDT by jsanders2001
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To: John Semmens

Voter ID will be part of the plan right?


7 posted on 06/08/2015 5:13:13 PM PDT by jsanders2001
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To: jsanders2001

If you mean Sigmund Freud’s “id,” yes.

If you mean that voters would be required to prove their identity and eligibility, no.


8 posted on 06/08/2015 6:34:53 PM PDT by John Semmens
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