Former Pro-Life Democrat Evolves [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 Feb 2015 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Rep. Tim Ryan (D-Ohio) announced he was switching sides in the pro-life vs. pro-choice debate. The former pro-life Democrat claimed he had an epiphany persuading him that abortion is a woman’s right and that no government had the authority to intervene for any reason.

“It is the Congressman’s position that it is not for anyone else to judge whether or when an abortion should or shouldn’t be permitted,” Ryan’s chief of staff Ron Grimes maintained. “And yes, this means up until the moment of birth and for whatever reason the woman finds meaningful, including the sex of the fetus.”

Grimes rebuffed an abortion survivor’s argument against the Congressman’s new position as “irrelevant. Her existence is a fluke. She shouldn’t even be here haranguing the Congressman for exercising his judgment on this human rights issue. The Congressman finds this sort of emotional appeal outrageous and offensive. He has no time to listen to it.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://theconservativecitizen.com/2015/02/08/semi-newssemi-satire-5/

[Viking2002]

Evening, John. Sometimes your posts require heuristic examination to tell if they’re actually satire or not.

[UCANSEE2]

Your articles remind me of this.

[Arthur McGowan]

Any voter who ever believed that there is such a thing as a pro-life Democrat is too stupid to live.

[bimboeruption]

Dennis Kucinich had the same exact epiphany.

I’m serious.

[dayglored]

Dammit, John, I'm gonna have to start asking you to put a little marker in your posts, at the point where the satire starts ("Satire starts here->" or something). Your recent articles are just too damn well-done. This is the third one in a row where I've read to the end without realizing it had switched over.

Congratulations! And keep it up!