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Cromnibus Puts Taxpayers on Hook for Bank Losses [satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 Dec 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/13/2014 9:37:16 AM PST by John Semmens

The House-passed $1.1 trillion Continuing Resolution contains a clause that exposes taxpayers to a potential $300 trillion liability for bank losses in derivatives trading. The rider to the CR was the “brain child” of Citigroup. The rider is opposed by both tea party Republicans and left wing Democrats, but is strongly supported by House GOP leadership and President Obama.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif), charged that “this maneuver puts the lie to the contention that the GOP is the Party of small government. This is a big government pay off to Wall Street financiers. I’m enormously disappointed that the White House has gone along with this.”

President Obama, though, reminded Pelosi that “Wall Street has been a good friend to the Democratic Party. They’ve donated more to us than to the Republicans. Besides, the risk to taxpayers is only theoretical. As long as the covered bank investments are profitable the taxpayers won’t have to pay a cent in bailout money.”

House Speaker John Boehner hailed “the cooperation between us and the President as a sign that a new era of mutually beneficial attitudes and actions is upon us” and derided “those who would place ideological purity ahead of successful governance. The banking industry is crucial to the US economy. We cannot afford to let it fail because of a misplaced devotion to free market theories that investors ought to bear all their own risks.”

In related news, Boehner single-handedly killed the Freedom of Information Improvement Act. The Act, which would have eased citizen access to government files, was unanimously passed by the Senate. Boehner refused to allow the House to vote on it. “The task of governing this country is difficult enough without us having to have everything we do subject to minute scrutiny,” Boehner explained. “People will be happier if they just relax and let us do our jobs.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/12/13/cromnibus-puts-taxpayers-on-hook-for-bank-losses/


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: boehner; cronycapitalism; obama; satire

1 posted on 12/13/2014 9:37:16 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

In related news, Boehner single-handedly killed the Freedom of Information Improvement Act. The Act, which would have eased citizen access to government files, was unanimously passed by the Senate. Boehner refused to allow the House to vote on it.

It was actually already passed by the house, went to the senate, and just needed a final vote. Parking this at the desk just baffles me.


4 posted on 12/13/2014 10:38:01 AM PST by Excellence (Marine mom since April 11, 2014)
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To: John Semmens

From 2009, “Goldman Sachs In Talks To Acquire Treasury Department”

http://www.businessinsider.com/goldman-sachs-in-talks-to-acquire-treasury-department-2009-7


5 posted on 12/13/2014 11:15:05 AM PST by omega4412
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