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Furious Obama Says Calls to Putin Going Straight to Voice Mail
The New Yorker ^ | September 2, 2014 | By Andy Borowitz

Posted on 09/04/2014 8:27:19 AM PDT by traumer

click here to read article


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To: daku

Bingo!


61 posted on 09/04/2014 9:01:07 AM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: wrench

Putin hunts with a bow and arrow so the only reason he would be on the golf course is looking for prey. Obama isn’t even enough of a challenge to be hunted.


62 posted on 09/04/2014 9:02:29 AM PDT by formosa
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Comment #63 Removed by Moderator

To: traumer

Hahaha


64 posted on 09/04/2014 9:05:11 AM PDT by Viennacon (Ir)
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To: traumer


65 posted on 09/04/2014 9:05:47 AM PDT by Grampa Dave (If you don't Donate to Free Republic. Shame on you! Freep Loaders are scum!)
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To: traumer


66 posted on 09/04/2014 9:05:51 AM PDT by maggief
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To: traumer
There is an interesting quote from Obama in the article: “Given what he has been up to in Ukraine over the past few weeks, I find it impossible believe he has been out of the office,” Obama said.

This from a manchild who spends an inordinate amount of time playing golf and vacationing while the country burns.

67 posted on 09/04/2014 9:06:04 AM PDT by Starboard
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To: traumer

Peggy?!! No, not Peggy! I asked for Vlad!"

68 posted on 09/04/2014 9:06:33 AM PDT by Jane Long ("And when thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek")
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To: traumer

“Thank you for calling the Kremlin. All our current lines are busy. Your call is important to us, so please stay on the line until one of our associates can speak with you.”

(One hour of the progressive jazz/New Age Muzak version of the “Think!” theme music from Jeopardy.)

“Hello, this is being Hadji from the New Delhi call center. To whom may I maybe direct your call?”

“We are White House and are calling the Kremlin in Russia.”

“This is all very good, and I will now being connect your call to technical support. Be sure to have all registration data available. (call transferred).”

(One hour of Bollywood dance themes.)

“Hello, you have reached Verizon customer support. If you have the 13-digit extension number of the person you would like to speak with, please enter it now. Otherwise please stay on the line for our voice activated messaging service.”

(absolutely no sound for the next hour.)

“If you would like fries with that, please press 1 now. If you would like your phone service discontinued, please press 2 and then stand away from your phone as its self destruct mechanism is activated. If you speak any other language than English, you are out of luck, but if you press 3 this call will be terminated. Press 4 to have your credit rating slashed and your bank accounts emptied. Press 5 if you would like your cable service throttled by several factors. Press 6 if you would like to turn yourself in to the Department of Homeland Security. Press 7 if you would like to speak to the Kremlin. Press 8 if you would like a random response, most likely accomplishing nothing. Press 9 if you would like a completely different if equally useless menu of choices.”


69 posted on 09/04/2014 9:06:41 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy ("Don't compare me to the almighty, compare me to the alternative." -Obama, 09-24-11)
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To: PGR88

Good post. Spot on.


70 posted on 09/04/2014 9:06:57 AM PDT by Starboard
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Comment #71 Removed by Moderator

To: traumer

Welcome to our world, Jerk-in-Chief.


72 posted on 09/04/2014 9:07:39 AM PDT by butterdezillion (Note to self : put this between arrow keys: img src=""/)
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To: traumer

Someone should tell Obama that elections have consequences....


73 posted on 09/04/2014 9:07:41 AM PDT by tcrlaf (Q)
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To: traumer

Perhaps the president should mount a hash tag campaign against Vlad.


74 posted on 09/04/2014 9:08:11 AM PDT by HusbandMan
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To: butterdezillion

In other words, Barry’s throwing a hissy.


75 posted on 09/04/2014 9:08:55 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: traumer
It's really hard to discern satire when it comes to Ubama.

He's so bizarre that anything is possible.

76 posted on 09/04/2014 9:09:32 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum ("The man who damns money obtained it dishonorably; the man who respects it earned it." --Ayn Rand)
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To: F15Eagle

What happened to my country?

*********
Leftists are running the show. Republicans are running scared.


77 posted on 09/04/2014 9:09:55 AM PDT by Starboard
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To: Grampa Dave

The Laugh Riot pic looks like two guys who just scored the biggest con of their lives on a clueless mark who still hasn’t figure out that he got taken.


78 posted on 09/04/2014 9:12:33 AM PDT by Starboard
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Comment #79 Removed by Moderator

To: traumer

Just in case anyone doesn’t know, the Borowitz Report is satire.


80 posted on 09/04/2014 9:14:55 AM PDT by Maceman
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