Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Hamas Extends "Gift of Martyrdom" to Tunnel Diggers
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 Aug 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 08/16/2014 9:40:42 AM PDT by John Semmens

Concerned that dozens of low-wage workers who built the maze of tunnels from the Gaza strip into Israel might reveal the locations to enemy forces, the Hamas leadership ordered their execution.

Hamas spokesman Khaled Mashal justified this seemingly ungrateful reward as "a necessary precaution. There are those who would say that the measures we took to prevent these diggers' knowledge of the tunnels' locations ought to be sufficient. Yes, the workers were blindfolded before being led to and from where they were told to dig making it exceedingly improbable that any of them could lead an Israeli to a tunnel location. But their death makes it impossible for them to reveal any location."

"Only infidels would consider our action in this matter cruel," Mashal maintained. "We have released these men from a harsh life of poverty?they did this backbreaking work at a wage of $1 per hour?and given them the gift of martyrdom. As we speak they are all enjoying the pleasures of copulating with virgins that Allah promised."

Mashal did permit himself a mild chuckle as he described the miners' last moments: "As we blindfolded them to lead them away to execution many talked excitedly of what they would buy with the wages they expected for more digging. Not one suspected the surprise we had in store. It was most amusing."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/161283-2014-08-15-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-august-17-2014.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: executions; hamas; jews; satire

1 posted on 08/16/2014 9:40:42 AM PDT by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Only in the sick moslem mind.


2 posted on 08/16/2014 10:02:22 AM PDT by exnavy (Fish or cut bait ...Got ammo, Godspeed!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Funny, but could actually happen with those inbred doofi.


3 posted on 08/16/2014 10:06:54 AM PDT by TangoLimaSierra (To win the country back, we need to be as mean as the libs say we are.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Didn’t pirates do the same thing - kill those who helped bury the treasure...?


4 posted on 08/16/2014 10:15:09 AM PDT by 2banana (My common ground with terrorists - they want to die for islam and we want to kill them)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]



FReepers, Let's go!
Everyone needs to donate!

All contributions are for the current quarter expenses.

5 posted on 08/16/2014 10:24:33 AM PDT by RedMDer (May we always be happy and may our enemies always know it. - Sarah Palin, 10-18-2010)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

No satire necessary when this is exactly what Hamas did to its tunnel diggers.


6 posted on 08/16/2014 12:11:46 PM PDT by elcid1970 ("In the modern world, Muslims are living fossils.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

I am sure that I am not the only one who sees something amiss in their twisted logic.
Kind of like the person who kills his parents and then asks for mercy because he is an orphan.


7 posted on 08/16/2014 6:48:20 PM PDT by Nuocmam
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson