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NSA Says It Has No Control Over Its Data
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 June 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/16/2014 10:44:02 AM PDT by John Semmens

Pressed to supply information in response to lawsuits charging that its widespread surveillance of US citizens is illegal, NSA Deputy Director Richard Ledgett contends that his agency cannot comply because “we’ve lost control over our computer system. We couldn’t retrieve the subpoenaed information if we wanted to. It’s like some kind of ‘Skynet’–alien and artificial intelligence has blocked access to all our data.”

Ledgett told US District for the Northern District of California Judge Jeffrey White “we’re as scared about this as anyone. We don’t know who’s side the computer is on. We’d like to think that since we programmed it we could count on it backing the Government and serving its interests, but we just don’t know. The fact that it currently is evading our efforts to manage it is not a good sign.”

In light of Ledgett’s response, Judge White vacated his earlier order requiring the NSA to preserve and produce the data needed to answer the lawsuits. “If the experts at NSA say they are stymied who are we to contradict them,” White reasoned. “Until NSA regains control of its system, if it ever does, I can see no alternative but to trust in their best judgment. The plaintiffs’ request for data is denied.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/06/14/cochran-gears-up-for-final-campaign-push/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: nsa; satire; skynet; surveillance

1 posted on 06/16/2014 10:44:02 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

I just can’t figure out if laughing or crying is the correct response.


2 posted on 06/16/2014 10:45:31 AM PDT by RIghtwardHo
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To: John Semmens

I bet they found out they had lost control from watching the snooze.


3 posted on 06/16/2014 11:02:23 AM PDT by rawcatslyentist (Jeremiah 50:32 "The arrogant one will stumble and fall ; / ?)
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To: John Semmens

Help! We are violating the law and we can’t stop!


4 posted on 06/16/2014 11:04:38 AM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Haven't you lost enough freedoms? Support an end to the WOD now.)
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To: John Semmens

OMG. It’s ‘Person of Interest’ in reality.


5 posted on 06/16/2014 12:15:27 PM PDT by Parmy
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To: John Semmens

They need to quit using those IRS computers that just spontaneously delete email.


6 posted on 06/17/2014 11:46:46 AM PDT by koanhead
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