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NewsReal - The News NOT Reported...
Mononymous1/Wordpress ^ | 6/16/2014 | Mononymous1

Posted on 06/16/2014 8:36:55 AM PDT by mononymous

The following is mostly satire.

Hillary Clinton, the Prince Charles of American politics (in more ways than one), has a new book out that she’s busy promoting. It’s called “Hard Choices.” She said, for example, her most difficult choice on the night of the Benghazi consulate attack was whether to have scotch, vodka or gin.

In one interview, Hillary said that when she and Bill left the White House they were “flat broke.” She admitted to one interviewer that, "all the silverware we took from the White House were practically worthless".

To escape their positively Dickensian condition, Hillary tried her turning trick - turning $1,000.00 to $100,000.00, that is. When she was advanced millions of dollars for writing a memoir, Hillary struggled even more; this time with her very first lesson on income inequality. She spent many sleepless nights trying to figure out why starving artists weren’t getting the same deal; hell, she is still feeling their pain!

NJ Governor, Chris Christie said this week that he can beat Hillary Clinton in a presidential race. The possible match-up has already been dubbed the “Battle of the Bulges” and the “Battle of Thigh-tans.”

President Obama said recently that if one could choose a time to be alive, now would be the best since the world is at peace. Obviously, the President has been too busy golfing to read news reports about what’s happening in the Middle East, Ukraine and Kenya. When he finally heard about Iraq being overrun by even more extreme jihadists, the President reverted to his messianic image and spoke to the weak-minded saying, “Verily I say unto thee, he who is Shi’ite shall become Sunni and he who is Sunni shall become Shi’ite as they are all the children of Allah and their quarrel is that between brothers which shall be settled with a few beheadings. But woe to he who does not convert or submit for he shall remain an infidel and an abomination unto Allah. So it is written that the Caliphate shall be born during my reign and a reign of darkness shall begin until all infidels are wiped from the face of the earth. Behold my magnificence as I lead you, as sheep, to the slaughter.”

Hillary Clinton said that the five Taliban terrorists released from GITMO are no threat to the US but may be threats to Afghanistan and Pakistan. The interviewer pointed out that Pakistan is a nuclear state and given the historical problems in that country, asked if nuclear weapons in the hands of these terrorists wasn’t something we should be concerned about. Hillary tried to deflect the question by responding, “Did I mention yet that Karl Rove was right?”

House Majority Leader Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) was defeated in an historic election this past week. As he and and Speaker John Boehner sobbed over the loss, they renewed their commitment to crush their opponents - the base of their party.

The IRS has said that the emails of its former employee and White House lackey Lois Lerner, who was last seen pleading the 5th before a Congressional Committee, have been lost. Fortuitously, these emails are from the period during which Ms. Lerner was doing her very best as Grand Inquisitor. Asked to comment, the White House said, "This is just partisan politics, as usual. What we have here is an incident that is as coincidental as all those conservative groups being investigated."

Years of therapy are still required to help NBC's David Gregory who suffers, like many of his comrades, from the mental disorder that is liberalism. However, Mr. Gregory is rumored to be uniquely qualified to replace Jay Carney.


TOPICS: Government; Miscellaneous; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: cantor; christie; clinton; obama; satire
Mostly satire...
1 posted on 06/16/2014 8:36:55 AM PDT by mononymous
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To: mononymous

LOL! Too funny.


2 posted on 06/16/2014 8:58:24 AM PDT by formosa
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To: mononymous; All
all around, good stuff..covered many bases.

3 posted on 06/16/2014 9:04:57 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun..0'Bathhouse/"Rustler" Reid? d8-)
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To: formosa

Thank you.


4 posted on 06/17/2014 5:42:05 AM PDT by mononymous (http://mononymous1.wordpress.com)
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To: skinkinthegrass

Thanks.


5 posted on 06/17/2014 5:42:25 AM PDT by mononymous (http://mononymous1.wordpress.com)
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