Posted on 05/04/2014 4:46:49 AM PDT by wetphoenix
Vladimir Putin's recent intervention in Ukraine on the pretext of defending the ethnic Russian population has forced other former Soviet republics to look for ingenious ways to protect their own sovereignties from similar moves.
On Monday, the Parliament of Kazakhstan, with a 25% ethnic Russian population and a 4,660 mile-long border shared with Russia, voted to rename the country 'New Illinois,' hoping to attract more American support for their territorial integrity. Kazakhstan's President, Nursultan Nazarbayev, is expected to sign the emergency bill into law by Wednesday, setting in motion a complex process for the Central Asian nation of almost 18 million people.
A spokesman for the government in the capital city of Astana said that 'New Illinois' was chosen because US President Barack Obama was a state and then US Senator for the state of Illinois, and such a name change was more likely to get his attention and engender a strong enough reaction to the threat of foreign invasion.
"We noticed a hesitancy on the part of President Obama to act when Russia moved on Ukraine," said Prime Minister Serik Akhmetov. "And we asked ourselves, what if Obama's reluctance was due to the fact that 'Ukraine' sounded too foreign to the president who is almost exclusively interested in American domestic policy? So we thought we might get more interest from him if we had a familiar sounding American name. This was the easiest way."
Fearing that the name change alone may not be enough, the Kazakh parliament has begun debate on a second bill to rename the Kazakh ethnicity to 'African Americans,' with the hope that Americans will be more sympathetic to their plight if they are identified with a more familiar ethnic minority.
(Excerpt) Read more at thepeoplescube.com ...
LOL! New Illinois, eh? Gives more flexibility to POSOTUS and a new RESET button for the former Sociopath of State…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNxEDomUlXw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaDQ1vIuvZI
~Today, the parliament of Latvia is debating a bill to rename their small Baltic nation of two million inhabitants to ‘East Chicago,’ as concern increases that Russian president Vladimir Putin may invade them to “protect” the half a million ethnic Russians who had settled there in the Soviet era.
Meanwhile, Lithuania has staked out the name ‘New Hawaii’ and Estonia is expected to take the name ‘New Delaware’ after the home state of US Vice President Joe Biden.
The future states of East Chicago, New Hawaii, and New Delaware are also considering changing their ethnic identities to ‘African Americans,’ although some local political leaders have proposed a change to ‘Mexican-Americans,’ which they believe may also help them gain support among moderate Republicans in the US.~
New Illinois? Who would want to defend another liberal
dump named Illinois? The one that exists now is so
indefensibly bad, second only to Obama himself.
They will not be renamed. 25% of Russian in Kazakhstan it four million. They just kill those four million. As in Rwanda 1994. But worse. This is no joke, alas. I know these people. I am Kazakh.
Oooooh, great stuff! Thanks for the post/link.
I’d rather be occupied by Russia than live in Illinois. In other words, be careful what you ask for.
Thanks for posting here, Nursultan. The article satire pokes fun at the puny “progressives” (socialists) in our government drawing lines in the sand and or sanctioning Mr. BIG, Pooty-Poot, Vladimir.
Fischer-Kasparov chessboard moves with bigger stakes.
BTW, northern Kazakhstan was once part of Russia. Khrushchev “gave” it to Kazakhstan at the same time he gave Crimea to Ukraine.
Something to remember for the future.
Kazakh government was somehow smarter than Ukrainian.
In 1950s it was a part of Russia, predominately occupied by Germans and Ukrainians. A lot of Russians moved in in 1960s also, but since late 1980s Kazakhs has played a muslim card against all of the above, South African style. Many people were slaughtered, a majority of survived Russians and Ukrainians has run to Russia across the border, Germans left for Germany or Canada. Then Kazakhs moved their national capital to the North to former Russian city.
It makes a task of Russian reoccupation harder, not that many supporters left alive.
~ha-ha-ha.
They will not be renamed. 25% of Russian in Kazakhstan it four million. They just kill those four million. As in Rwanda 1994. But worse. This is no joke, alas. I know these people. I am Kazakh.~
Relax, Borat. Make sure you are able to cash a check before bragging. Allah won’t intervene as promised by your Saudi fellows.
If they’re looking for a name “Redskins” may be available soon.
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