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This Week’s New Executive Orders
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Feb 2014 | John Semmens

Posted on 02/23/2014 10:05:23 AM PST by John Semmens

True to his word, President Obama bypassed Congress this week with a trifecta of new Executive Orders.

Concerned that trucking firms are “needlessly wasting money on gas-guzzling semi-trucks,” the President ordered haulers to “improve their MPGs.” As Secretary of Transportation Anthony Foxx explained, “no one cares more about this country and its well-being that President Obama. These truckers may be satisfied to fritter away costly fuel, but the President is not. Unless they clean up their act we will shut them down.”

In a bid to end the debate over global warming, President Obama issued an Executive Order declaring that “the science proving global warming is irrefutable.” Because the consequences of denying global warming are “severe” the Order bars any firm or individual that contests this irrefutable climate science from bidding on, or participating in, any work funded by the federal government.

On Wednesday President Obama corrected an omission from President Franklin Roosevelt’s 1941 State-of-the-Union speech by adding “freedom to enjoy sodomy” to FDR’s famous “four freedoms.” Previously, the four freedoms included freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom from want, and freedom from fear. “Even though Americans’ right to pursue happiness could be construed to include this right—as it could be construed to include FDR’s list—for similar reasons it is clear to me that a more explicit enumeration is required to ensure that this right will never be abridged by those who refuse to participate under the guise of feigned religious objections by the practitioners and purveyors of intolerance.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/02/22/fcc-chairman-says-critics-are-overreacting-to-new-plan/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: environment; executiveorders; obama; satire

1 posted on 02/23/2014 10:05:23 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Just had a glorious “What if” thought, that will obviously never happen, but...

What if private industry simply refused to bid on government contracts?

I know, it’s a lucrative market, what with all those dollars of ours’ sloshing around. I, for one, no longer do business with GSA, or any other governmental entity, but then I can afford not to.


2 posted on 02/23/2014 10:18:43 AM PST by ForMyChildren
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To: John Semmens
"Executive Orders"? Nope,no way...a false and deceptive term.

THEY'RE ROYAL EDICTS!


3 posted on 02/23/2014 2:24:17 PM PST by Gay State Conservative (Stalin Blamed The Kulaks,Obama Blames The Tea Party)
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To: John Semmens
Awesome!
4 posted on 02/23/2014 5:42:21 PM PST by 4Liberty (Optimal institutions - optimal economy.)
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To: John Semmens

Truckers are a hearty bunch clog DC for weeks and see


5 posted on 02/24/2014 3:58:32 PM PST by ronnie raygun (zippy the a##clown sez..............................)
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