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Posted on 05/05/2013 3:45:52 PM PDT by Nachum
We all know how the president loves a good joke. He's a regular stand up comedian. So, the good folks at Twitter are just trying to help: some of the hashtag- #ObamaJokes
Some of the 'postings':
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Q: What's the difference between president Obama and God? A: God doesn't think he's the president.
Q: How do you starve an Obama supporter? A: Put his food stamps in his work boots.
Q: What is another name for a voter fraud? A: An Obama voter.
Q. What does Barack Obama call illegal aliens? A. Undocumented Democrats.
Q: What do Barack Obama and Tiger Woods have in common? A: They are both trying to screw everybody!
Q: What's the difference between Obama and Tiger Woods? A: Tiger only screwed half the country.
Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself? A. Because it would be racist and homophobic.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Black Marxist with a White Communist? A: Barack Obama
Q: What's the difference between Obama's GM bailout and a car battery? A: The battery has a positive side.
Q: Why did Obama run for office as a Democrat? A: The Communist Party was too conservative for him.
Q: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate? A: The ink isn't dry yet.
Q: What was Willy Wonka's Obama-candy called? A. The "Everlasting Job-Stopper"
Q: Why won't they release Obamas birth certificate. A: It is in Swahili and no one can read it.
Q: How are Obama supporters like Christmas lights? A: Half of them don't work, and the ones that do work aren't very bright
Q: What do Obama and Manti Te'o have in common? A: They can f*** you from 3,000 miles away when neither has even met you.
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common? A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Q: Why is the Obama economy a system of checks and balances? A: He writes the checks, you pay the balances.
Q: What does Obama's cat say? A: Mao.
Q: What does an Obama optimist say? A: It can't get any worse!
Q: Why are there so few real Obama jokes? A: Most of them are true.
Q: What are the teams in the new Obama Football League? A: The Stealers, the Bills, the Chargers, and the Lyin's.
Q: What's the difference between Lincoln and Obama? A: Lincoln suffered from major depression. Obama caused one.
What’s black and white and red all over? A: Obama.
obama isn’t really black he is just so dense light bends around him
Well done.
A communist, an illegal alien, a Muslim and a homosexual walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “What’ll it be, Barack?”
ROTFLOLOL.
“Q: What are the teams in the new Obama Football League? A: The Stealers, the Bills, the Chargers, and the Lyin’s.”
Given his affinity for homosexuals, I think the Packers will be added as well
HE spoke for almost an hour on HIS future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living, should HE one day become the President. HE referred to his career as a Senator, how he had signed 'YES' for every Indian issue that came to his desk for approval. Although the Senator was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his 'red sisters and brothers'.
At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the Senator with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle.
The proud Senator then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they came to select the new name given to the Senator.
They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.
If you put it on your boots and they look better, it’s Shinola. If you put it on your boots and they stink, it’s obama.
BFLR - this ought to be a funny thread ;-)
Don’t forget the Oilers
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