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LOVE Czar for Marriage Equality and Biblical Alterations
The People's Cube ^ | 3-30-13 | Olga Photoshopova

Posted on 03/30/2013 11:38:26 AM PDT by ReformationFan

Same-sex marriage is, by far, the most important issue of our generation - even more important than having others to pay for our free access to birth control. War, terrorism, and taxation are laughable matters compared to the tragedy of two or more men who are in LOVE being unable to commit to each other unless they have a government-issued license. Without a license, how could they demonstrate their LOVE to the rest of the public in front of Chick-Fil-As across the country? It is, after all, their right as human beings.

The reactionary blowhards are predictably reacting to it by saying that once gays can marry, life on earth will be finished. It is a scientific fact, however, that their opinions don't matter.

Since LOVE is all that is sufficient for the courts to define same-sex marriage as a "right," this necessitates the creation of the position of a LOVE Czar (LOVE is to be spelled in all caps, at all times).

This LOVE Czar will decide if two or more consenting adults sufficiently LOVE each other through a lie-detector test, before granting a marriage license. The amount of LOVE needed to pass the test will depend on how large the backlog of applications is. Apparently, a waiver for cultural or religious exemptions from the LOVE Act will have to be added, lest it puts a damper on arranged marriages.

No such waver will exist for tax payments: whether you LOVE or HATE taxes, you still have to pay them.

Everyone knows that since the beginning of time, the U.S. Constitution has stated that anyone who LOVES each other has the right to marry and vote Democrat.

(Excerpt) Read more at ...

TOPICS: Humor; Politics; Religion; Society
KEYWORDS: chickfila; communism; culturaldecay; homosexualagenda; loveczar; satire
More great satire and sarcasm from the People's Cube.
1 posted on 03/30/2013 11:38:26 AM PDT by ReformationFan
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To: ReformationFan
I work at Chick-fil-a. One day when I got off work I went up front to order myself something before leaving and started talking to another woman in line. "pretty cold out today, isn't it? I'm looking forward to the weather warming up. What about you?" Lady in line: "I'm looking forward to equal opportunity rights for gays." I didn't know what to say (I had some things I would have LIKED to say, but not while in my uniform) and she explained that she was there picking up something for a friend,, otherwise she would never come to Chick-fil-a....
Was the first time I had a customer mention anything about gays since I started working there shortlya fter CHick-fil-a day...
2 posted on 03/30/2013 11:53:36 AM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis

You should have asked her if she knows the difference between a colon and a uterus.

3 posted on 03/30/2013 11:56:35 AM PDT by Gene Eric (The Palin Doctrine.)
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To: Gene Eric

Like I said, there were some things I would have liked to say, but I couldn’t while in my chick-fil-a outfit since at chick-fil-a we are always supposed to be very nice to customers and place a high importance on customer service. Otherwise, it would have been different. >:-D

4 posted on 03/30/2013 11:59:09 AM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: ReformationFan
First the hohohomosexuals, the jolliest people in the country; then the polygamists and androgynists; then the bestialists; then the pederasts; then...

Oh, by the way, what whacko anti-rational cause are the leftist extremists going to adopt next?

5 posted on 03/30/2013 2:59:13 PM PDT by Standing Wolf
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To: Standing Wolf

Cannibalism as a form of birth control?

6 posted on 03/30/2013 9:09:14 PM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)
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To: Army Air Corps
Cannibalism as a form of birth control?

That makes as much as anything else I've heard from that bunch, though I thought they were reserving cannibalism for their so-called "gun control" festivities. If they start eating babies, will there be enough dead school children for the next presidential political posturing opportunity?

I have to admit it's possible I'm missing something: I've never truly comprehended the thrill of killing babies. If you go fishing, you've got to entice the game into going for your fly or worm. If you go hunting, the deer or rabbit or coyote can bolt at the last moment and run away. If you go baby killing, where's the sport? Where's the challenge?

Could leftist extremists really be such poor sportsmen?

7 posted on 03/31/2013 2:12:54 AM PDT by Standing Wolf
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