President Says Recent Tax Hike “Not Nearly Enough” (Satire)

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 Jan 2013 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

While admitting to being pleased and proud of the tax increases he was able to force Republicans to accept, President Obama lamented that “it is but a small positive step in the right direction.”

The President argued that “it should be self evident that the rich still fall far short of paying their fair share. There are many private citizens who live more lavishly than the President of their country. The inequity of this is stark and, quite frankly, shameful. Not even the wealthiest owner of the biggest business has as big a burden as the President of America has. The idea that such a person should have more than the nation’s chief executive is appallingly unjust. I will not rest until this heinous inequity is remedied.”

An analysis of the “fiscal cliff” legislation pushed by Obama indicates that 77% of American taxpayers will see their taxes rise. Nevertheless, the President still touted it as benefiting the majority of the population. “Look, this 77% or whatever is only of those who pay taxes,” Obama pointed out. “Almost half the population doesn’t pay these taxes. When you combine the 23% of taxpayers who won’t see an increase with the 47% who don’t pay taxes that’s a clear majority benefiting from this legislation.”

“If we can continue to add more people to our disability rolls, enable more to permanently leave the workforce, and ease the barriers to achieving eligibility for welfare payments our nation’s progress toward a fairer distribution of wealth and a broader access to lives free of toil will become politically irresistible,” Obama bragged. “While it may not be possible for everyone to enjoy this new freedom, I am confident that a substantial majority can.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2013/01/05/pelosi-defends-doctored-photo/

[GeronL]

maybe when income taxes are 105% and payroll taxes are 55%, that will be enough?

[MeganC]

Of course. Obama’s a communist and he wants it all.

[SMARTY]

No...only when you open your veins and let the blood out..THAT will be enough!

[ctdonath2]

It’s satire.
Alas, satire these days is just real news rehashed.

[adorno]

President Says Recent Tax Hike “Not Nearly Enough”

With socialism, even 100% taxation would not be enough.

That's why economies based on socialism always fail.

But, there will never be any government dependents who will ever learn that lesson, and thus, they are doomed to repeat the mistakes.

Socialists will never look at the repercussions of their ideology, otherwise, they'd never be socialist. Socialism is more about head-in-the-sand policies than about prudent planning.

[Freedom_Fighter_2001]

I can’t decide which is the more appropriate analogy for the republicans - Charlie Brown vs. Lucy with the football or the battered wife.

[RetiredTexasVet]

The Food Stamp President should confer with his fellow socialist (say communist) in France about those rich people should pay a little bit more .... hey, Hollande, how’s that working out for you?