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Backlash Against Layoffs Conspiracy Rises (satire)
Associated Posers ^ | 11-11-2012 | geronl

Posted on 11/11/2012 1:43:39 PM PST by GeronL

(Associated Posers) – NEW YORK CITY – As a wave of layoffs sweeps the country, some observers are critical of businesses that cite new rules and regulations as reasons for the cut backs. Restaurant chains such as Applebee's, Red Lobster, Olive Garden and Papa John's have all announced plans to cut worker hours to below the 30-hour threshold for ObamaCare regulations kicking in.

Gorden Systems, which manufacturers plastic pipe, says it will layoff 40 of it's 79 employees, the rest will see reductions in work hours. John Gorden, founder and President explained “This is a very unfortunate situation. The cost of doing business under the new policies rise to being prohibitive and all businesses have to cope with it. We are transferring a lot of our manufacturing to our Mexico affiliate”.

Meanwhile Caterpillar, which manufactures heavy machinery, is also cutting back while building a massive facility in Mexico. Thousands of jobs are on the line there. These are just the tip of the iceberg as hundreds of companies have already announced layoff plans and workhour reductions. Many will institute changes without public pronouncements.

“The fact is that every business in America is affected” said Kay Stanton of Stanton Consulting “The cost of doing business and the way employees are hired will all change. For many retail operations it will make economic sense to hire 2 part timers instead of a full timer with benefits. It will be cheaper to get 60 work hours out of 2 people than 40 work hours from one”.

Meanwhile critics have risen. Shanelle Quandra Lee Hamsptead of the United City Alliance says this simply proves that capitalists and big business hate the poor. “This is all racism and classism. The excuse of “economics” is so much joo-joo. The Obama administration must ban companies from making these kinds of changes. I don't care if they all lose money, they must provide the jobs this country needs”

The Reverend Joe Jessie Johnson agrees, saying “Economics and profitability is the biggest sin facing this country. If a business must lose money to do the right thing, then it should lose money. It is their patriotic duty! It is also a moral duty.”

The liberal Move Forward Campaign for America says it is already drafting proposals for laws that would outlaw layoffs. “Economic need is not good enough. This country re-elected Barack Obama for the purpose of moving this country beyond economics and we must follow through. For the sake of everyone in this country and our future, we must abolish the pursuit of profits”.

Shanelle Hampstead also reminded her Facebook followers that “Need is a higher calling than Math. Those who work have a moral obligation to continue funding the programs this country depends on, they must never be allowed to stop doing this. It is treason to stop paying taxes just because your business loses money”

The conservative Taxed Too Much League decries such talk as “Idiocy. They are attempting to deny reality and basic math. Talk of overcoming economics is silly, it will lead to nothing but poverty and privation on an unimaginable scale.”

The Reverend Joe Johnson says the answer is prayer. “We must pray for an end to the notion that one must be exploited in order to “earn” a living. A living shouldn't be earned, it was given to us as a gift from God. They have stolen our existence and we are taking it back”.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Conspiracy; Humor; Politics
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Oh, I think we know its coming
1 posted on 11/11/2012 1:43:43 PM PST by GeronL
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To: Irenic; Vendome; SeminoleCounty; Country Gal

BUMP


2 posted on 11/11/2012 1:45:04 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GeronL

Who is John Galt?


3 posted on 11/11/2012 1:51:05 PM PST by GrouchoTex (...and ye shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set you free....)
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To: GrouchoTex

Seems like its only a matter of time


4 posted on 11/11/2012 1:52:20 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GeronL

Ha! Too true! Sad, isn’t it?

I bet in a few years economic cooling will become much more alarming than global warming ever was to those bupkisheads.


5 posted on 11/11/2012 1:57:49 PM PST by Irenic (The pencil sharpener and Elmer's glue is put away-- we've lost the red wheel barrow)
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To: Irenic; cripplecreek; SunkenCiv; KevinDavis

“economic cooling”

!!!

That is a keeper


6 posted on 11/11/2012 1:59:21 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GeronL
Somehow I think Ayn Rand would be proud of this little piece of "satire."

(In "quotes" because I anticipate it'll become reality soon!)

7 posted on 11/11/2012 2:04:04 PM PST by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: usconservative

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2958349/posts

This was posted while I was posting mine, its not satire.


8 posted on 11/11/2012 2:10:07 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GeronL
Gold is not neccesary. I have no interest in gold. We will build a solid state, without an ounce of gold behind it. Anyone who sells above the set prices, let him be marched off to a concentration camp. That's the bastion of money.

-Adolph Hitler
9 posted on 11/11/2012 2:10:07 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: cripplecreek

BUMP!!


10 posted on 11/11/2012 2:13:41 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GeronL

I know this is satire but it is too close to the truth to be comfortable. There are far too many people who think that businesses exist to provide people with jobs. I am reminded of a scene from Atlas Shrugged where Reardon’s brother is demanding that he give him a job.

Philip: What’s more important, that your damn steel gets poured or I eat?

Reardon: How do you propose to eat if the steel doesn’t get poured?


11 posted on 11/11/2012 2:17:32 PM PST by albionin
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To: albionin

Within a few months they will announce a “deal” on the “fiscal cliff” with much fanfare. Obama will get credit for “saving the economy”.

Then the economy will crash.


12 posted on 11/11/2012 2:20:09 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GeronL

Today’s satire is tomorrow’s headline.


13 posted on 11/11/2012 2:59:08 PM PST by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: GeronL

What’s next?

Retirement to be forbidden? Can’t stop feeding the beast...

Esau Johnson of the West Virginian coal company, Blue Fuel Mining says “Law’sa mercy, I’z 97 years old and I just want to go home and die in bed. Please Lordy, let me go...”


14 posted on 11/11/2012 3:07:47 PM PST by moovova
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To: GeronL

>Within a few months they will announce a “deal” on the “fiscal cliff” with much fanfare. Obama will get credit for “saving the economy”.

I wonder if the Deal will have an “economic yardstick”...


15 posted on 11/11/2012 3:10:18 PM PST by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: GeronL

Whoop! There it is!


16 posted on 11/11/2012 3:17:37 PM PST by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: OneWingedShark

lol.

I imagine there would be something in there that the weak-kneed Republicrats can hold up as proof they influenced it for the best. Plus something for the Dems to blame when the crash comes, and it inevitably will.


17 posted on 11/11/2012 3:25:37 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: Jack Hydrazine

It is getting quite hard to satire these people though..

did you see this article...

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2958370/posts


18 posted on 11/11/2012 3:36:05 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GrouchoTex

Outlaw layoffs? How about outlawing cancer?


19 posted on 11/11/2012 3:38:11 PM PST by Morris70
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To: GeronL

I’d have to agree!


20 posted on 11/11/2012 8:18:19 PM PST by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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