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(Vanity) The Navy Seal Song
grey_whiskers ^ | 05-09-2011 | grey_whiskers

Posted on 05/08/2011 10:13:49 PM PDT by grey_whiskers

Scene: onboard the USS Carl Vincent

Sailor: (Takes Osama out of the cooler and thumps his head on the counter. Throws him up in the air and watches him plummet to the floor.)

"Now that's what I call a dead terrorist."

Obama: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Sailor: STUNNED?!?

Obama: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Afghanistan Blues stun easily, Seaman.

Sailor: look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That terrorist is definitely deceased, and when I purchased him not eight hours ago, you assured me that his total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged videotaping session.

Obama: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Sailor: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? In Afghanistan? What kind of talk is that?, Look, why wasn't his dialysis machine hooked up??

Obama: The Afghanistan Blue prefers his indpendence! Remarkable Al Qaedan, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Sailor: Look, I took the liberty of examining that terrorist when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that he had been sitting in his compound in the first place was that he had been NAILED there. By the Pakistani government!

(awkward pause)

Obama: Well, o'course he was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that terrorist down, it would have nuzzled up to those walls, bent 'em apart with his AK-47, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Sailor: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this terrorist wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Obama: No no! 'E's pining!

Sailor: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This terr'ist is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to the IED factory in the sky! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisy-cutters! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined his 72 virgins!! THIS IS AN EX-TERRORIST!!

Obama (looking down at his feet, after a pause): I never wanted to do this in the first place!

I...I wanted to be...


Leaping out of helicopters! As they float over the mighty rivers of Afghanistan! With Valerie Jarrett by my side!

The Logar!

The Mighty Morghab!

The Ghorband River!

The Surkhab!

The Little Wakhan Riverbank!

We'd SING...Sing...sing.

Oh, I'm a Navy Seal, and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I golf all day.

CHORUS: He's a Navy Seal, and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he golfs all day.

I write a speech, I take a trip,
I write my autobiogr'phy.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
and have Wagyu beef for tea.


I give my speech, I make a quip,
and act like I'm in charge
I read my teleprompter,
pretend like I'm the Sarge

He gives his speech, he makes a quip,
He acts like he's in charge
He reads his teleprompter
Pretends that he's ...the SARGE?


I give my speech, I use big words
Harvard makes me smarter
I wish I'd been a real man
Just like Jimmy Carter.

SEALS: He gives his speech, uses big words
Harvard make him...smarter??

(cross talk) What? Jealous of Carter? Community Organizer!

(Michelle, to Obama): I *knew* I should've voted for Hillary!

CHORUS He's a Navy Seal, and he's okaaaaaaaaaayyyy....

He sleeps all night, and he golfs all day.

TOPICS: History; Humor; Military/Veterans; Politics
KEYWORDS: binladen; delusionsofadequacy; itsallaboutme; lumberjacksong; navyseals; obama; vanitydujour; whiskersvanity
1 posted on 05/08/2011 10:13:51 PM PDT by grey_whiskers
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To: neverdem; SunkenCiv; Cindy; LucyT; decimon; freedumb2003; ding_dong_daddy_from_dumas; don-o; ...
"Nailed to the perch" birdcage *PING*


2 posted on 05/08/2011 10:15:05 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: grey_whiskers

Thanks for the ping!

3 posted on 05/08/2011 10:23:28 PM PDT by Alamo-Girl
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To: grey_whiskers


4 posted on 05/08/2011 11:09:22 PM PDT by JohnBovenmyer (Obama been Liberal. Hope Change!)
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To: grey_whiskers

*snort!* Thanks for a big laugh! :)

5 posted on 05/09/2011 2:58:53 AM PDT by Hetty_Fauxvert (March 2010: Congress shoved Obamacare down our throats. November 2010: We will shove it back!)
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To: grey_whiskers

“I wish I’d been a real man, just like Jimmy Carter.”

hehehe hahaha snicker...

6 posted on 05/09/2011 4:32:07 AM PDT by stevie_d_64 (I'm jus' sayin')
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To: grey_whiskers

the SEALS need a CD. It could be called “THE SEALS GREATEST HITS!” LOL

the Lead song could be “THE DOUBLE TAP BLUES!”

7 posted on 05/09/2011 4:47:51 AM PDT by 70th Division (I love my country but fear my government!)
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