Skip to comments.(Vanity) The Navy Seal Song
Posted on 05/08/2011 10:13:49 PM PDT by grey_whiskers
Scene: onboard the USS Carl Vincent
Sailor: (Takes Osama out of the cooler and thumps his head on the counter. Throws him up in the air and watches him plummet to the floor.)
"Now that's what I call a dead terrorist."
Obama: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Obama: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Afghanistan Blues stun easily, Seaman.
Sailor: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That terrorist is definitely deceased, and when I purchased him not eight hours ago, you assured me that his total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged videotaping session.
Obama: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Sailor: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? In Afghanistan? What kind of talk is that?, Look, why wasn't his dialysis machine hooked up??
Obama: The Afghanistan Blue prefers his indpendence! Remarkable Al Qaedan, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Sailor: Look, I took the liberty of examining that terrorist when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that he had been sitting in his compound in the first place was that he had been NAILED there. By the Pakistani government!
Obama: Well, o'course he was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that terrorist down, it would have nuzzled up to those walls, bent 'em apart with his AK-47, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Sailor: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this terrorist wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Obama: No no! 'E's pining!
Sailor: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This terr'ist is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to the IED factory in the sky! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisy-cutters! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined his 72 virgins!! THIS IS AN EX-TERRORIST!!
Obama (looking down at his feet, after a pause): I never wanted to do this in the first place!
I...I wanted to be...
A NAVY SEAL!
Leaping out of helicopters! As they float over the mighty rivers of Afghanistan! With Valerie Jarrett by my side!
The Mighty Morghab!
The Ghorband River!
The Little Wakhan Riverbank!
Oh, I'm a Navy Seal, and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I golf all day.
CHORUS: He's a Navy Seal, and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he golfs all day.
I write a speech, I take a trip,
I write my autobiogr'phy.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
and have Wagyu beef for tea.
I give my speech, I make a quip,
and act like I'm in charge
I read my teleprompter,
pretend like I'm the Sarge
He gives his speech, he makes a quip,
He acts like he's in charge
He reads his teleprompter
Pretends that he's ...the SARGE?
I give my speech, I use big words
Harvard makes me smarter
I wish I'd been a real man
Just like Jimmy Carter.
SEALS: He gives his speech, uses big words
Harvard make him...smarter??
(cross talk) What? Jealous of Carter? Community Organizer!
(Michelle, to Obama): I *knew* I should've voted for Hillary!
CHORUS He's a Navy Seal, and he's okaaaaaaaaaayyyy....
He sleeps all night, and he golfs all day.
Thanks for the ping!
*snort!* Thanks for a big laugh! :)
“I wish I’d been a real man, just like Jimmy Carter.”
hehehe hahaha snicker...
the SEALS need a CD. It could be called “THE SEALS GREATEST HITS!” LOL
the Lead song could be “THE DOUBLE TAP BLUES!”
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