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A Joke For Today That Has Nothing To Do With Taxes
BillLawrenceOnline.Com ^ | 4-15-11

Posted on 04/15/2011 5:16:43 AM PDT by Tribune7

Edited on 04/15/2011 6:02:01 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

April 15, 2011

A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said "I am so sorry for your loss and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. "Whose funeral is it?"

The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: alwayscivil; blogpimp; civil; civility; excerptcuzineedzhitz; pimpmyblog
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1 posted on 04/15/2011 5:16:46 AM PDT by Tribune7
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To: Tribune7

Was this really needed to excerpt?

A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn’t stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said “I am so sorry for your loss and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. “Whose funeral is it?”

The woman replied, “Well, that first hearse is for my husband.”

“What happened to him?” The woman replied “My dog attacked and killed him.” She inquired further, “Well, who is in the second hearse?”

The woman answered, “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her.”

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.

“Could I borrow that dog?”

“Get in line.


2 posted on 04/15/2011 5:22:28 AM PDT by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer (biblein90days.org))
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To: Tribune7
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3 posted on 04/15/2011 5:49:22 AM PDT by Paine in the Neck (Napolean fries the idea powder.)
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To: Tribune7; humblegunner; shibumi; Larry Lucido; TheOldLady; 50mm; Eaker; Allegra; Salamander; ...
BLATANT blog pimp alert.


4 posted on 04/15/2011 5:51:43 AM PDT by paulycy (Islamo-Marxism is Evil.)
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To: Tribune7

Fun site. Some of the jokes are pretty strange, but over all a good chuckle.


5 posted on 04/15/2011 5:54:36 AM PDT by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: paulycy
An ad from the site:

Now that's funny! Reckon Al Gore could get his chakra released?

6 posted on 04/15/2011 6:01:26 AM PDT by humblegunner (Blogger Overlord)
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To: humblegunner
Now that's funny! Reckon Al Gore could get his chakra released?

I'm not sure. Judging from his personality I'd guess it's pretty well bound up.

7 posted on 04/15/2011 6:03:09 AM PDT by paulycy (Islamo-Marxism is Evil.)
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To: Tribune7

Funny. Going on my FaceBook. Thanks for the laugh.


8 posted on 04/15/2011 6:06:41 AM PDT by LuvFreeRepublic (Support our military or leave. I will help you pack BO!)
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To: Tribune7

Midnight, startin’ to “write”. Where are you?
You said you’d stop me, now it’s post number two
I know I’m pimpin’, I’m back and FAAAAAAAAAA-Q’.

On attack, It’s a fact I’m busted at FR.
I turn my back and there you all are.
I’m not really talented, I like lookin’ like a whore.
I try to dodge you ev’ry night and day.
Minn locked my thread, then she zotted my account away-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

I hate myself for blog pimping you .
Can’t break free from the bandwidth I do.
I wanna blog so I trick back at you, that’s why
I hate myself for blog pimping you .

Daylight, spent the night cut and paste.
But I’ve been dreamin’ ‘bout the space I can waste.
I won’t be as angry ‘bout the hell you put me through.
Hey, man, I’ll be back, nothing you can do.

I hate myself for blog pimping you .
Can’t break free from the bandwith I do.
I wanna blog so I trick back to you, that’s why
I hate myself for blog pimping you.

I hate myself for blog pimping you .
I hate myself for blog pimping you .
I hate myself for blog pimping you .

(With many apologies to Joanie Jett...)


9 posted on 04/15/2011 6:09:01 AM PDT by Bean Counter (Minn sez your breath stinks...)
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To: Tribune7
The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."

I don't get it. That's the joke?

10 posted on 04/15/2011 6:10:39 AM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: Larry Lucido; thackney

Rest of joke at Post #2 by thackney


11 posted on 04/15/2011 6:36:26 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Bean Counter; Allegra

Great voice, Mr. Counter. Giving Allegra a run for the money?

;-)


12 posted on 04/15/2011 6:37:45 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: TheOldLady

Ah, I get it now! The widow is being followed by 200 vindictive b!tches who want to borrow a dog to tear apart their husbands and mothers-in-law.

That Bill Lawrence. He’s such a funny guy. :-)

He should start a blog!


13 posted on 04/15/2011 7:21:00 AM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: Larry Lucido
Yeah. Hilarious... :-|
14 posted on 04/15/2011 7:27:34 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Larry Lucido; TheOldLady; Bean Counter; humblegunner
He should start a blog!

Hey! My uncle has a barn...

Let's put on a show and then all start blogs!

15 posted on 04/15/2011 7:47:06 AM PDT by Allegra (Hey! Stop looking at my tagline like that.)
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To: Allegra; Larry Lucido; Bean Counter; humblegunner

Okay! I can’t wait to supplement my income with a slimy blog!

We’re going to build a pole barn for all the excess cars and motorcycles we have in storage.

I can blog about that utterly fascinating subject and make $1000’s, but only if you guys sing for me.

Uh... Not you, Larry. ;-)


16 posted on 04/15/2011 8:01:56 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Allegra

What day is it?

;-)


17 posted on 04/15/2011 8:19:48 AM PDT by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer (biblein90days.org))
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To: Allegra

That was very civilized of you....

Can you sing like Joan Jett...??


18 posted on 04/15/2011 8:24:45 AM PDT by Bean Counter (Minn sez your breath stinks...)
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To: Bean Counter

Love it!


19 posted on 04/15/2011 8:36:26 AM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis (Want to make $$$? It's easy! Use FR as a platform to pimp your blog for hits!!!)
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To: Larry Lucido

lol


20 posted on 04/15/2011 8:36:45 AM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis (Want to make $$$? It's easy! Use FR as a platform to pimp your blog for hits!!!)
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